Fellatio. Let’s not beat around the bush, ladies—our men love it, want it, and fantasize about it regularly. The problem: many women I know want to pleasure their men, but can’t stomach the thought of swallowing. However, the last time I checked, all these women absolutely love to be on the receiving end of a little tongue action down there. So what’s a girl to do? For the love of pleasure, reciprocation, and good sex, I thought I’d share some ways to make it easy to blow without the blow.
Use your hands. Your mouth and tongue don’t have to do all the work. Use your tongue and lips to spread saliva up and down his shaft to lube it up for your hands. Then, while you French-kiss his member, you can also stroke him with your hands and occasionally run your index finger over the head of his penis, the same way you might use your tongue. Pay attention to his breathing and physical cues to determine when he is about to come, then allow your hands to seamlessly take over where your mouth was, and let him come in the palm of your hand instead. Keep your mouth and face close to his erection; the wet and warm sensation is important. Whatever you do, don’t stop the motion with your hands! Coming in your mouth is less important than continuing the stimulation up until the critical moment.
Get a facial. Have you ever watched porn with your lover? You’ll notice that nine times out of ten, the hot action ends in a face shot—when the dude ejaculates on her face. For a lot of men, this is HOT. Continue to use your hands, but instead of using your hand to prevent him from ejaculating in your mouth, keep your hands going and let him release on your face. Note: if you have watched porn flicks and are horrified by the amount of dew in his spew, don’t be alarmed. Rumor has that most of these stunt men take serious zinc supplements to boost their output, so this doesn’t reflect what you might expect from your partner.
Lube your boobs. Don’t want to use your mouth? Use your breasts! Get some fabulous lubricant (I recommend Pjur BodyGlide) and juice up your cleavage. Then use your hands and breasts to surround him with some luscious bosom action. He’ll likely take great pleasure writhing in your succulence, and won’t even miss your mouth.
Go under cover. A professional sex worker once told me about a trick she perfected with a condom. She mastered a way to go down on a man and slip on a condom while she was doing it without him noticing. This one may take some practice, but may be well worth some extra time spent with a cucumber. Have a pre-lubed condom ready. Make sure that your hands are lubed as well so that you can glide one hand easily up and down his cock while you use the other to hold the condom between your thumb and forefinger to slip over the head of his penis. All the while, have your mouth over your hands, and as you slip the condom on, keep your mouth right on top. The idea of keeping extra lube on the inside of the condom will help keep things ideally wet and slippery for maximum pleasure. Also, make sure the lubricant is warmed up to body temperature! Don’t shock him with cool lubricant. Time your strokes with gently lowering the condom onto his shaft, which will minimize any distracting sensation of applying a condom. Finally, go for extra wide or extra large sizes to make it easier to slip on while going down on him.
It’s okay to spit. If you’re concerned less about having him climax in your mouth and more about what to do with it after the fact, don’t sweat it, spit it. You can be creative and keep a discreet spittoon handy. (A girlfriend once confessed that she “fertilized” the potted plant by the bed on occasion.) A tissue works just as well. Some women I know share the concern that spitting may send the wrong message to their man. I think the pleasure of coming in your mouth will overrule any negative feelings that may result from not swallowing. However, when it comes to intimacy in the bedroom, I think the most important thing is not to take our lovers’ feelings lightly, but to be respectful of any sensitivities. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him—be subtle about it and everyone wins.
