I have been in love with one of my close friends for about two years now. We’ve known each other since junior high school but we didn’t start an intimate relationship until recently. I get the feeling that sometimes he gets turned off by me because of my “not so feminine” ways. It’s not that I’m not; it’s just that growing up, I spent a lot of time with my aunt who always wore loose-fitting clothes and wore dresses that would never show her figure or even a bit of cleavage. However, when my cousin and I were kids, she would dress us in nice girly outfits and even give us cute pigtails with ribbons and all.
From childhood through my adulthood, I have always been feminine. When I got married, my husband would say to me sometimes that he would like to see me dressed casual for a change instead of the heels and dresses. So per his request, I tried wearing the designer blue jeans with the cute tennis shoes for a more casual look. He seemed pleased with it and I have to admit it was very comfortable, but after a while both the relationship and my style grew old for both him and me. Once we parted ways, I decided to go back to my old style and I was loving it, but I found it hard to shake the comfortable casual style of clothing at the same time. My aunt saw me recently and she said, “You’re getting like me. Where’d you get those sweats from? They look comfortable.” I laughed it off, but I wanted to cry because I knew deep down inside my lack of femininity was what was causing so many problems in this new relationship that I had been trying to pursue.
I make sure that whenever my new friend sees me, I am dressed in nice heels and my makeup is done, so even if I have on a pair jeans with a nice blouse I still look and feel feminine. But somehow, I don’t project it enough for him. He calls me “sweet” and says that I’m weird and it makes me feel really bad. What should I do?
