Like every Friday afternoon my best friend and sister called me to check up on what she calls the “soap opera” of my life. She has been married for over twenty years and has gone through the normal ups, downs, down belows of marriage, something I haven’t fully experienced. So for her, my life has always been filled with a kind of mysterious excitement she missed at some point after she said I do.
I could narrate to you the full story of what she is so eager to know every week but I guess, the beginning words of her final comment will give you a clear idea. “I admire your strength and courage. I could never work under the same roof with the man I have loved.” She is not the only one telling me the same thing. Comments go from total tragedy to a scene of one of those comic relief shows. For her though is truly serious.
Good friends, those who are endangered species these days, tend to worry too much. She is so convinced that I’m in so much pain every day that fears the inevitable, the breakdown and collapse of the woman she has admired since we were in elementary school. For her, it is incomprehensible that I have learned to accept through the years, that love does not perish but it could be miraculously transformed. I guess she is still a member of the group of people who think that either love is with me or somewhere else far from where it could hurt or cause irreversible damage. There is no risk worth taken for those who live in a conscience of take it or leave it.
So as my story goes, this was my answer for her, one I am not sure she understood at the end but at least kept her satisfy probably until next week. Strength and courage are qualities I get from that same love that surrounds me. That same man that she likes sometimes and hates some others when her love for me blinds her, is the one who has precisely taught me that the best way to show love is by allowing others to live their lives as they feel they should. He has never put chains on me. I would never do it to him. We have learned to accept each other as we are. We have shared precious moments when the world has stopped for us. We have been far from each other many times. We never know if tomorrow would bring another long period of physical separation but today, under the roof of our work place, we are there honoring our friendship and that very special kind of love that bind us. In silence we take care of each other, we share small details, we speak with our eyes, and read our gestures. Every day we wish each other the best. Every day we probably wish for something else and every day we face the reality we created.
There are many kinds of love. There are many loves that come and go, and there is that one love that has no names or detailed specifications. He has been my best friend and this goes beyond been a lover. As a human made of flesh and blood, I would lie if I say I don’t miss him, but what I truly miss the most and long for is a quiet conversation with a friend who knows if I’m feeling well or if I’m faking it, a generous smile, the silence between us when no words are necessary to understand our feelings at that moment. We know we are there for each other. We know that there are no restrictions of time, space or company that would keep us apart, even when distance gets between us. He knows that no matter what, he can count on me. We know that we would never do anything to jeopardize what we have in and outside our inner circle.
