I’ve done a lot for love. I have gone halfway around the world, dated online, lied, speed dated, followed Indian matchmaking, prayed, consulted cards, mystics, and psychics to find love. I have been one of the lucky ones, here’s the continuation of my journey:
Praying for Love
When I finished university and started a job, I had pressure to marry not just from my parents, but my community as well. That’s when I got advice to go see someone to help me get married. He was a venerable guru and gave me a mantra to say. He told me that it doesn’t matter when I said it but I had to do it 108,000 times. Whoa! I thought, will this even work? Guruji seemed to read my mind as he said that most women find their husbands soon after finishing this mantra and doing the closing rites and rituals. This was a big commitment. If I said the mantra 108 times a day that would still take 1,000 days or almost three years to complete! I have to admit that I was daunted by this task, but the mantra was short and I decided that I would say it to myself when I was riding the subway. That was three hours a day, surely that would cut down my time??? Well I’m not sure if that was the right thing to do because I did end up completing my task in about a year and a half and after completing the necessary rites and rituals I did meet someone. Was he the one?
Is He the One?
I will not divulge his name to protect his privacy but I met him through friends. He was charming and good looking and we got along quite well. He treated me well, very much like a princess, he allowed me to be myself, dream my dreams, and he supported me through some of the toughest career times that I’ve had in my life. He was a coach and a cheerleader. Sounds too good to be true? Well it was. For all of our compatibility, there was one huge hole in our relationship.
We had different religions. Now living in North America, with so many diverse relationships thriving, it seemed that something like that should not come in the way of love, but there was another things attached to that. We were both attached to our families and that added to the conflict. For him, he couldn’t live comfortably with me knowing it caused his parents so much pain, but he tried to smooth things over for me and for his parents. I loved him very much, but I realized after years, that I wanted more than just going out and enjoying each other. I wanted a family and I wanted to be his family. But it just wasn’t to be. He was trying too hard to please both me and his family and it was becoming too hard on him. It ended a few days before we were supposed to be married.
Love is Not Enough
I went on what was supposed to be my honeymoon with my sister and contemplated what I should do next. Here I was thirty and alone, wanting to start a family and not knowing what to do. This is when I joined an online dating community and for the first time in my life; I went on dates two or three times a week. I enjoyed the company of many wonderful men, just for dinner or a movie, no commitments, no entanglements. I went speed dating, joined a singles group and spend $1,000 on a dating service. So many books that I read told me that dating many people was healthy and in a way it showed me that there were great men out there and I was not at the end of my dating days (I know much better than that now.) I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was empty and came across as such.
