I’ve been ANXIOUSLY waiting to hear back about a job I applied for and which I really want. I’ve capitalized the word ANXIOUSLY because THAT’S EXACTLY HOW I FEEL! I can’t seem to concentrate on doing anything else, regardless of how many other projects I’m involved in. I just check e-mail and my phone constantly to see if anyone’s contacted me.
It occurs to me, as I go about my day with a one-track mind that this is exactly what we as doormats do when we’re waiting for a man to call. All of a sudden, nothing in our lives holds any interest no matter how interesting or important it may truly be. Everything gets sent to the back burner as we sit and wait for …WHAT? Don’t we realize the acceptance, the rejection, the silence is going to come regardless? I’m preaching to the choir here, ladies. I’m trying to convince myself at this moment, so bear with me. This is maddening. Yes, I still manage to do good work. Yes, I socialize and have tea with the PTO ladies and ride my bike and drink mimosas with my more daring friends, but in the back of my mind all I want to do is “get the word” so I can go out and celebrate. Well, I’ve already done that once in anticipation. I believe you should always celebrate future successes before they happen to create a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy, but I’m talking about the REAL celebration. The one where I know I can go out and spend cause I’ll be paid for it eventually.
Come to think of it, the only time I don’t stress over this job is when I’m making love. Somehow, then, my mind goes blank. Well, only sort of. You know what I mean. There are always positions and stuff to think about, but all very relevant and in the moment. I guess in my case, if I want to forget about this job and make myself happy, I just need to make my hubby happy, too. Hell, we can lie around all day and be totally blissful except for when the phone rings.
Of course this tidbit of advice may not help you any if what you’re waiting for is to hear from precisely the person you can lie around with all day. Oh well, who said life was perfect?
