My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. I love him so much, and I want to be with him, or so I think. He cares for me so much and he’s a great guy except for when he’s mad, but other than that, he’s a really good guy. We’ve had more than enough fights, but we’re still together. But for some reason, I don’t get turned on by him.
Sometimes when he touches me, I do, but not when I think about our sex life. I have to fantasize about other men to get turned on. I don’t really know what this is supposed to mean. I feel bad for saying/doing, but I have to flirt with other guys sometimes to make myself feel better and lately, I have been checking out other guys. I feel guilty, but I know he does, too, but it doesn’t bother me ... he’s a guy.
But he’s overprotective and a very jealous guy so I do feel bad for doing it but I just don’t know. I can’t get turned on. He’s offered to have an open relationship a couple times for my sake, since he’s my first boyfriend, but I feel bad and say no. I don’t know if I should try dating other people to see how I feel, if I feel different or if I’m just indifferent like that (because before my bf, I never thought about having sex or masturbation or anything). I don’t want to break up with him though because I’m scared it’ll be a mistake. Should I bring up an open relationship? If so, how?