Facebook abuse is rampant! We all know at least one person whose status updates never cease to annoy or bewilder. Or how about that chick who is constantly inviting you to engage in a mafia war? And seriously, I am this close to defriending a friend from junior high who insists on tagging photos of me in braces. But Facebook abusers aren’t just hurting the innocent—they’re also seriously ruining their own dating game. Check out the ten biggest dating mistakes people make on Facebook.
1. Your Relationship Status is Giving Me Whiplash: There’s nothing more exciting and dramatic than an off-and-on relationship. You fall madly in love—update status to “in a relationship.” You get in a big fight!—update status to “it’s complicated.” You have awesome makeup sex—back to “in a relationship.” But then you break up in the morning—suddenly “single.” But then he sends you roses two months later and begs for you back! Guess who’s “in a relationship”? Congratulations, your love life sounds exciting—your manically flip-flopping Facebook status updates, however, are embarrassing.
2. The Royal “We”: Oh hai. Did Facebook start a special section for couples? No? Then why do all of your updates use “we” instead of “I”? “We loved last night’s Lost!” Ugh, stop it.
3. Hint, Hint, Hint: Using your status update to send someone a cryptic message is way creepy. It’s also way obvious to every single one of your friends that you are sending a message to someone, even though we may not know who. It is also sending a great message to other dudes—that you’re too immature to be direct and not play games.
4. Look at How Happy We Are!!!: A few photos of you and your boo lookin’ lovey dovey are sweet. Entire albums devoted to your picture-perfect love are nauseating. They’re also a pain in the ass to delete when he dumps you for his coworker.
5. These are the Mundane Days of Our Lives: Similar to number two, using your Facebook status messages to tell the world what boring, mundane activity you’re up to is doubly annoying when you make sure to specify you’re doing it with your honeybunch. So “Amelia and Ryan Gosling are making hot cocoa!” Who cares?
