So this guy has been my friend for almost eight years now and I can honestly say that I’ve had a mad crush on him since the night I met him and he told me he felt the same. When we met, we were both in relationships so we never were able to get together, but we kept in contact ever since. We mostly chat and talk over the computer and phone, have only seen each other two handful of times. We have such admiration for each other and are very kindred. He is my dearest friend and one I can tell anything to, literally.
But he is also the one I’ve cheated on two boyfriends with ...
Every time we got to see each other, nothing else mattered and it just happened. Of course, I love my boyfriend but what I feel for my friend is very different. I’ve heard it’s because he is just the person I want and can’t have, and that I should get over it, but how? Not to mention he is always flirting back with me and obviously didn’t mind that I had a boyfriend the second time we hooked up. The only thing is that he keeps telling me how an awful person he is, what a bad boyfriend he would make to me, and to not rely on him for my happiness and to move on ... so then what are we doing? What am I doing to myself? What were we doing to each other or any significant others? After both hook ups, I did notice he treated me different for weeks. He barely talked to me and avoided seeing me even if just to hang out, then he would start talking to me again like nothing happened.
Was this a result of low self-esteem and letting him take advantage? How do you stay friends with a guy you have such strong feelings for and know what it’s like in bed with him? Or do you not stay friends anymore and learn to let go? Either way, this man is in my life ... like a Carrie and Mr. Big situation. No one knows about the times we hooked up and it kills me. Don’t you just hate it when you are friends with the guy you really want, and can’t have?
