The end of sex in a relationship is a big red flag. And when it’s the man who is withdrawing from sex, it’s a huge flag.
Sometimes it means the man is actually gay or bisexual. Sometimes it means the man is having erection difficulties. Often it means he’s having emotional or work challenges that are shutting him down. And sometimes it means there’s another woman—even if it’s only an emotional affair.
When this happens in a marriage, a sex therapist can help. When it happens in a dating relationship, it often signals the end of the relationship.
But no matter what’s going on with him, the solution is the same for you: you must open yourself up to other men.
I know this can come as a shocker, especially if you’re a married woman. But take it from me: I managed to turn my dying marriage around by following a few simple principles that will let you know whether your relationship is worth saving ... or you’re better off moving on.
And when I say, “open yourself up to other men,” I don’t mean sexually. If you’re not married, then you should continue to accept dates from men until you have the kind of commitment you want with one man. When you’re married, I mean that you flirt with men and revel in your feminine nature.
Either way, keeping yourself open to other men will raise your confidence level—even if you only talk to other men and don’t actually date them. It allows you to take your entire focus off your man, which in turn takes the pressure off him and gives him the space to initiate sex.
Sometimes, this subtle shift of behavior in you can cause dramatic changes in him. When that happens and your man comes closer, you might even realize the source of the problem was you.
When my marriage was at its lowest point, I was filled with desperation and insecurity. Then I started opening myself up to other men by simply smiling more and receiving compliments graciously. I felt so good and so feminine, that my vibe changed and I was able to be more open to my husband.
I also discovered that anger was causing a lot of our problems—namely his natural resistance to my constant attempts to correct and fix him. When I opened up the walls that were between us emotionally and stopped making him wrong, everything changed so fast I had no choice but to realize the problem at the root of everything was me.
As I worked on me, our marriage just got better and better every day.
But I was also lucky. My man was able to do intimacy. He loved, and continues to love me—so he really wanted our marriage to be great; he just didn’t know what was wrong (he didn’t even know anything was wrong!).
So, if he’s physically capable, if he’s primarily heterosexual, and if he’s still with you and not with another woman—you can turn your relationship around, too. Keep yourself open to other men and stop correcting him or making him wrong. I’m confident that if he’s the right man for you, your connection will deepen and your man will want to come closer. If not, you can walk away with the confidence that you did the best you could and make room in your life for the kind of connected relationship you’ve always dreamed of.
Originally published on Have the Relationship You Want
Rori Raye is a trained relationship coach and has taught thousands of women how to attract Mr. Right. To learn more from Rori, click here.
