I still cringe at the thought of those site names and the picture of the whole scenario. But who likes thinking about their monogamous partner in that light? I have started to come to the conclusion that the last thing I want to do in a relationship is stifle someone. And I have to admit to my own sexual baggage, which colors every sexual experience as I face it. So, I have to let that image go. There are some things in an open relationship you don’t need to know in detail. I am glad to know he does it because I don’t want any secrets. I don’t, however, need to know his favorite site, character, or image. We as individuals need to have our private time—without it we are solely relying on someone else to define our sexuality, which cannot be healthy. Exploring sexuality in a committed relationship should not mean cheating. To me that’s just a continuum of identifying sexually through someone else. It does mean talking, and trying, and respecting, and always making time to do it together (as well as alone).
