Well, I’m done. I have spent enough time and energy trying to fix something that is broken. I meet my husband seven years ago. We were engaged for two years and during that time I dismissed, ignored, and defended alot of the red flags that should of sent me running. Over the last seven years the verbal abuse has been almost constant. He has gone to “talk” with someone and last year started on medication—but it has never stopped and every time it’s my fault.
This last time was Thanksgiving and it happened with my folks at the house. I was making a really nice dinner, I was enjoying playing hostess. He had an episode and nothing I could say would make him stop and leave me alone. He tried to be quiet about the abuse but I was getting louder and louder defending myself—until I thought to stab him—he would go away if I stabbed him.
He was scaring me and I scared myself more. The next day at work I looked up verbal abuse and damn if I have been living with it for years. So it is time to leave, I am a very lucky women; I have a ton of loving friends who have been waiting for me to wake up and supportive family who is coming to “evacuate” me. I am BLESSED. I have my own money and many plans for myself and my own happiness. I will take my pets and only what is mine. I just need to get out safely and peacefully. I have been advised to “cut and run,” not to put myself though the drama of telling him. As he will pull out all the stops to keep me there and it could be dangerous. I am dealing with a little guilt about it, although he doesn’t deserve the courtesy to know. I am planning on turning off the power and phone the day I leave, seeing as it is in my name. I haven’t had any luck finding a lawyer to talk to me seeing as I have very little money. What worries me is the house is in my name and I am walking away from it—leaving him in it. This is my Christmas present to myself. Long over due.
