No one said breaking up and moving on is easy to do … I mean we all hear songs about it, see movies, read books but until it happens to you, who can really say what you would do?
I had an on again, off again relationship with a man called Alex. We started out as friends and it gradually became more. I adored this man. Problem was, he didn’t feel the same. He never really came out and told me but I knew it from his actions. He started out sending flowers, taking me out, and wanting to spend time with me on a regular basis.
But soon his phone calls became infrequent and we started to spend less and less time together. I used to go out more with my girlfriends on the weekends than him. Things ended finally and in time, I moved on and met a wonderful guy. He adored me! He did things that Alex didn’t like call me back and not make me wait days to hear from him. He was so sweet and thoughtful. He took me to meet his family, friends, and co-workers. It was fun and exciting. After two years of chasing after a man that wasn’t interested, it was nice to meet someone who was. We fell in love and eventually got married.
Unfortunately, every now and then, I found myself thinking about Alex. I had to keep reminding myself of the bad times because we all know in this kind of situation, we think that the good times out weigh the bad. But still, I missed him every now and then. Three years passed and my marriage seemed to fall apart. We both wanted different things out of life and our marriage. We eventually divorced. It was painful and I found myself alone and depressed.
One day I received and email from Alex asking me how married life was and I told him the news. Over the next month or two we emailed back and forth about what had been happening in each others lives. He told me that a good friend of his was getting married and asked if I would like to go as his date. I agreed and actually looked forward to going. I went out and bought a new dress, courtesy of a very insistent sales girl who told me how “gorgeous” this dress looked on me … so I had to buy it.
The afternoon of the wedding I was very nervous, like I was going to the prom! My hands trembled as I did my hair and makeup, put on my new dress and headed out the door. Alex lived about an hour from me and the wedding was going to be held near his home, so I drove to his house and we went from there. When I got to his house, his mouth dropped and he told me how good I looked and hugged me. It was very nice and it made me blush. I hadn’t felt so beautiful for a long time and I smiled … so big and so much so that I couldn’t stop.
We drove to the wedding reception and went in arm in arm. I felt like I was glowing—could everyone see this? The warm happy glow soon ended about two hours into the reception. I got up to go to the ladies’ room and when I came back, I found a woman sitting in my seat talking to him, touching his hand and laughing like they had known each other forever. I stood there awhile and watched. I finally sat down in a seat on the other side of Alex, with his back to me, and waited for my introduction. It seemed like forever for it to come. I tapped him on the shoulder and he turned and smiled at me. He introduced me to this woman only as Lisa and mentioned that they had dated a couple times. He turned back and the two of them continued talking and laughing. After awhile, I got up to leave. I tapped him once more on the shoulder and said my “goodbye.” He didn’t even offer to walk me out to my car (which is a good thing I happened to drive that night!).
As I drove home, I heard a song on the radio and I burst into tears. There is a reason why exes are exes and why the past should stay there. Now I know better—I hope.
