I got dissed, quit, let go, fired, and cancelled. And, within my cockiness and idea that I am every woman, I completely understand. I’ll give a Reader’s Digest version of the relationship for background purposes. I met him. We were both cute. So, we started dating. Took our time and drove slowly. It was fun. It kind of reminded me of freshmen year.
But, I had signs. He was still hooked on his ex. She came up in many conversations, but 80 percent of the time in a negative light so I figured it was over. She had a tribe of kids, never had any money, messed with his friends, didn’t work, always needed attention … totally draining … blah, blah, blah. Plus, whenever we went out and if she saw us, I got the ninth grade gas face from her. It was hilarious but I loved it.
The next sign was that he lived with his parents. That pretty much means he doesn’t like change and/or has a fear of it. This is where my independence and cockiness probably hurt me. I live on my own and have been since I was seventeen years old. I have two degrees. I have lived in more than six cities and I believe in myself. I have the heart of a lion and just know I can fly if I put my mind to it.
And, my sweet beau never left his hometown, dislikes his job, and pretty much has a circle of friends who are all in the same boat. I never stood a chance. I was an outcast of what was comfortable for him.
And I have tried to blame her. I have tried every way to be mad at her. I’ve told myself she was vindictive, conniving, a user, a hater, and she is all those things, but he allowed it. He actually needed it. There is no way I could have become the needy woman he needed. Unfortunately, subconsciously, I believe I made him feel less of a man. Or, he just didn’t like me...
Therefore, when I got the call and he told me he was leaving me for his ex. I totally understood. It made sense. She needed him. I wanted him. Those are two variant actions. She needed him for money, rides, someone to help her take care of her children. She was competing for her livelihood. And, I just wanted to love him and competing for the intangible.