I received a friend request on MySpace from a person from a neighboring town. We had nothing in common. I don’t even remember why I accepted his friend request; it had to be for plain curiosity. After a couple of weeks of chatting with him, we finally get to the deal he is wanting. He wants sex. Here I am twenty-seven years old at this point and still a virgin and he wants me to have sex with him. He is someone I don’t even know personally and that is way beyond anything I could do. For the sake of being nice, I will call him Ted.
A year passes by, Ted and I chat and I keep denying him sex. I had been drinking one warm spring day and finally get the courage to meet him. I am scared to death so I tell him that we need to meet in a place where there are lots of people. He agreed. We met on a Sunday afternoon. Ted had just got off work. He is now already seeing someone, so I am thinking that he won’t want sex from me. Damn, was I ever wrong. It was months before I let anything happen.
I am not proud of myself for being with him. I knew nothing would ever become of him and I, but after a few months of just being around him, I started falling for him. It was nine months of being around each other before it happened. I finally gave into his advances and let him be my first. I could not believe it; it was done. I can remember that night so clearly. Our phones were both going off, it had started storming and the winds were immense.
I knew what I was doing was wrong. I did, but how is one person supposed to deal with what I call being manipulated? I really feel that is what he did. I know it is mostly my own fault for even letting him be my first, knowing that he was with someone already—but he was so persistent. I thought I was a strong person but found that I was very weak. I hate that.
He always knew exactly what to say to push my buttons. Before too long, the love that I thought I was feeling from him turned into anger. It was only because I figured him out and I wish I never had. You see, I found that he was not only doing this to me, but he was doing it to many others. When I found that out, he tried to deny it. Finally one of my MySpace friends came out and said he was HIV positive. That scared the hell out me. I will call him Terry.
I decided that I would go through Terry’s MySpace to see who he was friends with and wouldn’t you know, he had a lot of the same friends that Ted has. I already knew that Mike was having sex with these people because he would talk about it and be pissed when they didn’t call him or something. I wrote a blog about Terry, although I didn’t give his name, and I wrote it especially for Ted to read. He immediately started calling and texting upon reading my blog wanting to know who the friend was.
I told him that I wasn’t going to tell him because it was a private issue and he told me that if I caught anything it was because I messed around him. That hurt me so bad and pissed me off. I had never been hurt so bad in all my life. I decided that I needed to do something. I went to the local health center and told them I needed to be tested for HIV/Aids.
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