It’s hard to articulate during the heat of the moment, I always end up getting too pissed off and then I don’t say half of what I need to say. So I’m writing this in a calm (sort of) moment.
I’m pissed off because I think there was SOMETHING going on between him and [name omitted] back before Christmas when I intercepted the text messages. He refused to speak up for himself or defend himself, and he didn’t care that I was upset and pissed off; he just sat there and smirked.
I searched the cell phone bill back to September 2008 and the thing with him and [blank] was going on then, and it reached its peak in December, when I caught on to it. So how long HAS it been going on? Was it going on back in April 2005 when I went to that one work banquet with him and she all cozied up to him, talking about their last four-wheeler ride (I never got invited).
What’s with all the calls to her office made on the sly? I have the cell phone records printed out and notes made on them regarding the dates and times of his calls to the mailroom. Even when he was in the hospital he was calling her office a lot, but when I was at the hospital with him he wouldn’t even talk to me. I thought he was too doped up to talk but now I know better.
What is he thinking, getting involved with some _____ half his age? I have to wonder if people at his workplace are laughing at him behind his back. Men always make fools of themselves, don’t they? What the _____ does twenty-nine years mean to him? Nothing?
We’ve been together nearly as long as that female has been alive, for God’s sake. When I think of all the crap from him that I put up with all those years, and the hell he caused me at times, while I was raising his kids and our kids and working full time, and then working another eight hours at home every night while he stayed drunk most of the time. And this is what I get? Thanks a lot, you bastard.
Why is she the only female besides his daughters who’s on his cell phone contact list?
Why does he call her office every time he’s off on a workday? I know it’s her office because I have called it numerous times and she always answers, by name, and she is the only one working in that section. I copied a work roster he brought home to work on, on the sly (sneaky, wasn’t I?) Her husband is two steps above mine in rank ... ticklish situation.
I wonder what she would think if she knew what all he’s said about her ... like he and his work buddies discussing how she is the the biggest _____ in town ... or how he laughed that time she tried to catch an inmate and got trounced by the tac team and hurt her wrist?
Maybe that was just an excuse for him to be able to talk about her?
I’ll tell you one thing, I will not go quietly. I’m biding my time, in order to make a rational series of choices, when the time comes. Meanwhile, I’m gathering my nuts for winter.
