Being honest is, in a sense, a gift. Being honest is about freeing your mind. When you are up front about your feelings for someone or about a situation, you are enabling that person or situation to move forward; you are no longer halting progress and you are no longer holding a person hostage in your unhappiness, your doubt, your misery, your guilt, or your shame. If you allow yourself to be unselfish and share your true feelings, you too will experience a sense of relief. We must learn to get over the feelings of “I don’t want to hurt her (or him) … I will tell him (or her) one day … what they don’t know won’t hurt.” Yes, it does hurt, him or her, eventually, forever.
Honesty has power. The act of being honest can lead to a person’s sense of peace and happiness. What we must learn and understand is that our honesty is so valuable to another person’s situation. Someone needs to hear your truth. Your honesty can potentially lead to a life-changing decision. Every opportunity we have, we should want and choose to be honest. Being honest shouldn’t be an after thought. It does not matter who will know the truth about who you are or what may have really happened. We get it wrong by wanting or thinking we are protecting someone from hurting or getting hurt. It is not for you to protect that person. It is not a matter of protection.
Hurt feelings and emotions lead to growth. When we allow ourselves to feel pain, we are, not only healing whatever it is that ails us, but we are also growing stronger in whatever it is that we are going through. Hurt that comes from honesty is a self-healing pain. The healing begins the moment you are honest. You have helped by being honest. Your responsibility to that person has been fulfilled. You do not have to hold on to another person’s pain, it is for that person to deal with. It is not about being insensitive or feeling guilty. Honesty forces people to be responsible for their own feelings and emotions.
Imagine all the times you could’ve been honest—how do you think the situation would’ve turned out for you or for the other person? What if you would’ve told that person, “no, you need to do this on your own”; or “no, I don’t have it to give”; or “I really feel this way”? Honesty gives a voice and provides answers to the thoughts and feelings that we are unable to put into words. Honesty has the potential to save marriages, friendships, jobs, money, time, and lives. It’s that crucial.
Why do we see being honest as something to be afraid of or as something we shouldn’t do? Why are we so comfortable with the alternative—lying? You don’t have to sit back and second-guess a decision that’s been made or wonder when a lie is going to come back and haunt you. A lie can haunt you for the rest of your life. When you are honest about your feelings, you are allowing an individual to see the real you—the best part of you.
What do we hope to gain by not being truthful? The truth is we gain nothing. Nothing but more hurt, pain, frustration, and sadness. We prolong our suffering by not facing our true feelings. We prolong our ability to move forward. We prolong our happiness. The sooner we decide to deal with our feelings and emotions straight on, the sooner we will be able to move forward and attain what lies ahead.
Accept the gift of honesty. “The truth shall set you free … free indeed.”
