I am recently divorced, and I feel like I am on a roller-coaster ride of emotions. One minute I can be happy with my two sons and my new life, but then I can be so angry and full of hate toward my ex. Then I am as depressed as ever, crying myself to sleep at night for who knows what reason. Okay, aside from being divorced, I am also in menopause. Perhaps that would explain the emotions too. I still say it’s the divorce.
Being newly divorced takes a whole new meaning for me. The greatest part is I don’t have to see my ex’s ugly face again or put up with his manipulative, hurtful ways on a daily basis! I can buy whatever I want, and not have to endure his lectures on “We didn’t need that!” or “There you go again, buying another birthday present for a relative!” Ugh! I can say whatever I want without being criticized. I can live life without him!
I can go out with my boys and enjoy dinner without his complaints. I can spend time with my boys late on the weekend, laughing and just having fun, watching a movie, eating popcorn! I can take my boys to school, and be there at the end of the day to pick them up. I can encourage them more with positive reinforcement; this was something my ex always enjoyed doing, picking on my son’s handwriting or his messiness. Hey, his closet was never clean either!
I am able to fully love my boys unconditionally and feel their love for me so much more, since it’s only the three of us. When I have a migraine, my younger one, Seth, will ask, “Mom, are you all right? Can I get you a cold, wet washcloth for your forehead?” and then when I have my occasional asthma episodes, my older son, Jacob, will also show his concern. He will make me a cup of hot tea and put his arm around me as I wheeze away. They are both so loving, caring, truly wonderful sons. They are my life.
Also, when I ask them to do their chores, like help me with the laundry or dishes, they comply. No questions asked or complaints given. What we love doing the most is spending quality time outside in our backyard with our two dogs, Wrinkles and Perry. My ex hated our dogs. Who knows why? But outside in the sun, with a slight breeze in our faces, we’ll toss the ball to the dogs, or play Frisbee. I relish these moments with Jacob and Seth, sometimes wishing they would never end. Hearing them laugh is music to my ears! Positively delightful!
