I listened to her opinions and her voice
I thought she would make us better.
Instead I faded away,
Became confused, selfish, numb ... a cheater.
Choke and sob as I drown in
My own created world of defeat and misery.
Something about you haunts and
Torments me.
Can’t quite grasp how to move on, or
How to let you go.
Caught in this trap of guilt and shame,
How could I have known?
Seems no matter what I say or do,
You’ll never hear me or understand.
I’m sick of these questions and tears,
Sick of feeling that I’m a lifeless puppet, standing in quick sand.
They say “Everything happens for a reason,”
But a mistake like this? How could that be?
Maybe it was to make me stronger, open my eyes,
Find my own sense of reality.
Maybe it was to make me realize who
I really want to be.
Because, that girl in the past ...
She’s nothing like me.
I want to smile like the sun, and dance like the rain.
To stand tall, and be fearless.
To befriend my morals, integrity, and loyalty.
To believe that I can get through this.
