My story may sound too familiar but none the less I’m living it. I feel bad just writing about it, it may even sound selfish. I feel this way because I’m very blessed with everything I need except having the person I’m in love with for the rest of my life. I have two grown beautiful daughters and their happiness means the world to me and don’t want to trouble them with my issues. I recently ended a three year relationship with someone I truly believed loved me just as much but he recently married someone else that he had just met this year. He was the world to me and for a long time I thought he felt the same way with the way we were to each other, I thought love will conquer all. I found out in the long run that the statement is not true. I’m devastated by the whole incident, I had to see a doctor who had to prescribe me anti-depressants to try and relieve the pain I was feeling. The worst part was not having to talk to someone about it who cared for me, I felt so abandoned and humiliated that I had this happen to me again. Every time I tried talking to my family about it I just felt I was being judged. I know now that he truly did not love me as much as I thought or else he would not have married her. Co-workers and family say I should go out dating again to find someone else but I can’t even get myself out for a walk during weekends. I think I’m still mourning but I’m wondering if I’ll ever fall in love again, I don’t feel I will ... the first time I fell in love it took me five years to go out again and now this ... I’m afraid I’ve crawled into that hole again. I’m afraid I may never find anyone to be in love with who only loves me. If I don’t I’m hoping and praying that I’ll just be happy on my own and content with my life. Is that possible? Sometimes I don’t think so cause I still have feelings for him and catch myself crying and missing him then feeling sorry for myself. I’ve tried the dating sites and have had many replies but only met two men and it was not a good experience. I’m afraid of meeting men that way but I don’t like going to bar/dancing clubs either. I know I can survive this but need encouragement and motivation and I’m hoping this site will give me some of that. Every time I feel I’m okay or happy to be alive and try to go out I start to lose interest and end up at home and afraid. I don’t want to wait for five years to get over him due to my age, I’m forty-four and soon to be forty-five but I don’t want to be too quick either just out of fear of being alone and end up with another loser, what can I do?
