I always knew he was a snake, but my vulnerability got the best of me and I let that steer my judgment. So I believed his lies. Countless times I questioned myself about what was really happening between us, only to be left with more questions and a headache. Our relationship sucked all of my energy and brainpower, which is why most times I could not think fast enough to catch him up on the spot. But I grew balls and spoke to a woman who knew more than me. And that has made all the difference in the world.
I remember the day I saw the update on a social networking Web site. He was sleeping with me, but had publicly committed himself to another woman. I was floored. I’ve never been caught up in titles and labeling what I felt, so it never occurred to me that he was not as into me as I was into him. But what a way to find out! About a week later, he called and I was thrilled. He claimed they’d broken up. And again we were on. That lasted about a month or so. Red flags were shooting up left and right, but because I loved him, I ignored the little signs. It took him leaving me in a hotel room for three hours and returning to sleep in the other bed for me to get the picture. He was a liar and the truth just wasn’t in him.
And here I am today. Standing strong among the ruined remains of what was a carefully planned life. He had promised me and at least one other person the moon, stars, and universe. And although I knew that certain things were unrealistic, other things were very much tangible. And I know that I could get them with someone who actually loves and appreciates me and all that I have to offer. But I have to do a long-haul makeover as to how I look at relationships and love. When it comes to dating again, I am well on my way.
I feel so exuberantly brand knew. I know you’re asking why I am not using the other form of the word knew—new. Well, I am not saying new because knowledge set my soul on fire. I love learning and right now, I feel like I have learned what I need to know to get past this and succeed in love and life. The ex-girlfriend I spoke of previously let me know just how low that snake would go. From lying to her to spend time with me, to lying to me to be with her, he did all that plus plenty more. The information I received initially hurt me. However, it provided me with so much clarity. And I am grateful that my tenacity paid off.
