What Comes Around Goes Around

Life is, to put it quite simply—completely unpredictable. My life took a sharp turn when my middle-aged husband left me for one of his starry-eyed twentysomething-year-old bartender groupies. With my heart crushed into pieces after a failed marriage and my identity in shambles, I decided to pick up my life and travel around the world. I headed to New Zealand to say one last goodbye to my Kiwi in-laws, then took a solo journey through the South Pacific.

When I arrived, I made a conscious decision not to talk about the reasons why we had broken up and instead focused my energy on “my role” in the marriage, the lessons I had learned from the break-up and the steps I would take to better my soul and rebuild my life.

While my mother-in-law kept probing me for the reasons why we had broken up, I said nothing. And even though deep down I wanted to scream, “Your son is a coke addict and alcoholi c,” I knew that the information would only hurt her. It was pointless. There was nothing that any of us could do and he didn’t want to go to rehab so … like a “good enabler” who actually learned something in Alanon, I realized it was time to accept my new life and move on ... one day at a time.

As my eighty-year-old mother-in-law stared at me with her deeply soulful blue eyes, she said, “I want to give you something.” Known for unloading gifts, heirlooms, and other random items, I said, “I would prefer not to take anything while I’m traveling—I’m just thankful to be here with you and your family.” When I looked down, in her hand was a blue marble, the kind you get out of a toy machine. She looked me straight in the eye and said, “This is for you. Remember darling, what comes around goes around.” At first I didn’t understand what she meant, but I knew at some point her words would have meaning. My eyes welled up in tears. “Thank you!” I said. “This is one of the most precious gifts I’ve ever received.” I truly meant it.

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10.14.2009
AliveLit
You're a very courageous & intuitive woman; it sounds as if you coped with personal grief/anger/betrayal in the healthiest, most brazen way possible. God bless your mother in law, what a sage and loving person she sounds like! Having just been dumped from a toxic man/relationship 3 weeks ago -still struggling to channel negative thoughts into positives, like re-framing or thinking "what was the lesson to be learned"- some days still really suck. Can't believe this ex - what a douche - restarted all his jackass online lothario action 4 days after I'd moved out. What I can't stand is he's revolting to me on many levels, yet I feel sick thinking of the creep w/ another woman...arrgh....began therapy to truly heal but I gotta say...the time when i can genuinely feel only apathy when thinking about him can't come soon enough! I want that lil' pillow biter outta my thoughts; any good tips? Cheers, Break-Up Guide - thanks for posting your wonderfully inspiring story. :) U go girl!!
09.17.2009
matt russell
Thanks for all that you do your a very special woman. I hope you find what your looking for and hold your marbles close. I think it's important to learn from our experiences. I hope to learn a lot from you. Thanks again. xoxox
What a cool story! I too went traveling after a break up - it was the best distraction in the world. I came back refreshed and ready to move on but I needed that trip to escape it all.
What a cool story! I too went traveling after a break up - it was the best distraction in the world. I came back refreshed and ready to move on but I needed that trip to escape it all.
07.17.2009
Kay M. Daniels
You are so brave - I think traveling is therapy and after doing an around the world trip you must have felt healed and ready to move on. Where did you go??
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