Day 2: January 4, 2010
Karma. It sums up in one word all the teachings of great religions. I won’t be preachy here. I have some loose ends to tie and what a better way to start my journey than this.
I have a much older guy friend who I finally visited in his workplace after a couple of months not returning all his calls. I greeted him through text on his birthday a month ago but still wouldn’t return his calls. Today, with my kid in tow, I gave my holiday present for him. I’ve been meaning to give it to him for so long but hadn’t got the nerve to do so.
Why? Let me count. First, I’m a married woman. Tina, my close friend, told me some people “might talk.” Next, he’s always so attentive to me and my kid whenever we go out before. Always showering us with gifts that I’m not sure anymore if he meant it when he said ( no, assured me ) that he was not courting me. We would always go out to fancy restaurants, visit museums, and give my girl expensive toys. Did I mention he also present me with handcrafted golds?
Yet, in my eyes, he’s a dear, lonely friend. He’s more than twenty years older than me. Dirty old man? No, believe me, he never took advantage. It even hurts me to refer to him that way. We just enjoy each other’s company. We can talk anything under the sun and enjoy same foods, places. We were there for each other to listen to one’s problems when nobody is there for us at all. In my heart, I know, he’s one of those people who “stays,” will never leave you. I’m a grim person. The only thing that may separate us is Death. Come on, in the natural way of life, he will go first.
But I’m a married woman and he is an old guy. People talk nasty things. Do I severe the friendship because of the norm? When I become an old woman myself when nobody else would want to spend a single minute with me, will I go back in time with regret for letting go of a sweet friend just because of rumors—that are not true?
I think I know the answer. I just got to have the nerve to go to this road less traveled. Remember the friend who suddenly won’t answer any of my greetings? I don’t want to be that kind of friend. I’m a believer of Karma. Hopefully, when I am what a people called “dirty old woman,” somebody will stood up for me.
