Seven years ago, I became a widow after twenty-four years and seven months of marriage. He was a wonderful man and honestly my soul mate. We had two beautiful children together that, like me, continue to miss him everyday.
I remarried four years ago to a man that was totally the opposite of my first husband. He is overweight, doesn’t have strong family values except to my family and although a good man that tries so hard to make me happy, I just can’t find happiness. I don’t even think I want to find happiness, at least not with him. He tries so hard, is wonderful to my children that are both grown and married. I don’t want anything to do with his parents, daughter, and grandchild and although I know this is wrong of me, I can’t help the way I feel.
I know asking him to leave is always in the back of my mind but I just can’t bring myself to hurt him this much. I want him to be happy and finally realize it won’t ever be with me. He doesn’t have any of the values I have in life and he doesn’t seem to have enough respect for himself to not allow me to treat him so poorly sometimes it even makes me sick.
I know I’m a coward but I’ve been such an emotional grieving wreck for such a long time, I don’t even know who I am anymore. I spend every day being there for my children and never being there for myself or him.
Help! I know you don’t have the answer but hopefully you have some good direction in helping me find my way back to the woman I once was.
