Dear Self,
Six months from now, you will laugh at all things that transpired within this year. You will smile at your own impulsiveness and chuckle about your brute honesty.
Yes, you might abhor yourself now and want to desperately explain yourself to justify your actions and uncover your intentions but rest assured that all is well. Do not think that everything is lost … that you have ruined everything. As Liz Gilbert said it so well, ruin is a gift … ruin is a transformation.
Do not be sad. Remember that for every ending, there is space for new beginnings. :-)
Do not feel panic nor fear because nothing is permanent in this lifetime. Do not think that you are alone. Do not even acknowledge that. Look around you. You have lots of people loving you for who you are. You don’t have to be “somebody” just to please someone. You are your own person. You don’t need him or anyone else for that matter to make you happy. You are already happy. It is a matter of claiming that gift. Not tomorrow but NOW.
When you feel despair closing in on you, have faith that everything will turn out fine. You cannot control everything. Let it go. Breathe.
Accept your flaws. Better yet, embrace them. :-)
Make peace with who you are. You have already said your piece. Let fate decide. Let God decide. You just have to move on. Don’t waste time waiting. Waiting for things to change your way or waiting for people to love you—your way.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you can immediately (and by that I mean two minutes from now or two days from now or two weeks from now) jump off to a new start once you’ve closed your doors on someone. It takes time. Healing and forgiveness takes time.
Make full use of this time to correct your wrongs and appreciate and share your rights.
Be patient.
I know you will still and always cringe whenever you remember the foolishness and craziness you’ve done. Well, how boring life would be if not for these intermittent periods of insanity right? :-) Learn to laugh at them and drop it. Move on. Do not take yourself too seriously. Just accept that you made mistakes and that you found the courage to let go and move forward. This is what’s important. The after action review. As long as you learn the lessons, nothing is lost … everything is gained. :-)
Learn to trust in God fully. He will never direct you in ways that will be deterrent for you. You might be perplexed now but in time you will see what He was preparing you for. This is just a taste of that wonderful experience.
Love yourself more. Be understanding, caring and more forgiving to yourself. No one else can do this for you. Only you. :-)
Do not give up on love. Don’t go out searching for it too like a mad woman. Just take the moment as it is. Do not rush things. As I said earlier, everything takes time. Relationships take time. :-)
Know that even if you sometimes don’t feel it, you are loved—in more ways that you can imagine. :-)
XOXO
