So my son came in so upset yesterday because he wanted to stay with his dad. He then proceeds on to talk about his weekend spent (of course) with his dad and his dad’s girlfriend who, by the way, has no kids of her own. He then turns to me and says with a sly look on his face, “They found an apartment in Chestnut Hill.” He began to laugh as if watching me cry was funny. I am torn up about this because I have to question does he really love me and I say to myself, What did I do wrong?
I am sad about it because we have two kids together and we were together six years. I don’t have a relationship because for the simple fact my kids give me a hard time when I did have one. My kids didn’t want to be around me when I had a boyfriend. I feel it is all unfair so I had to take a sleeping pill to go to sleep because I have a headache. I really am torn up about this. I feel sad, worthless, like dying because he continues to stab me in my heart.
On top of that, my mother, she and I never had a good relationship. She rejects me and denies me of any love or support. She does everything for my brothers and their wives and girlfriends but does nothing for me but despises me for everything I do. So now what. I am really torn up about this because I really stay hopeful that my family me him and our children would be back together. Right now, I am in this alone and I don’t feel like talking to anybody. I don’t want to be bothered with anybody I cannot believe that all this is happening. I loved him and I get everything together started. But now for what. I don’t want to be lonely but I don’t want just anybody. I was all for me to feel better about my self and provide a stable home for my kids. I need love. I don’t acquaint it with sex. I look from the inside not always out side. I really am broken up over this. Really.
