No Second Timers in the Alternative Birthing Class

My husband and I arrived early and nervous to our “alternative birthing class.” We were there with about ten other couples. They seemed all somehow more adult, polished, and definitely more prepared than we felt. The instructor entered and we did a series of exercises and had conversations over the next few weeks about our “joyous, calm experience.”

The instructor, a middle-aged woman of seemingly vast experience showed us tapes of woman quietly birthing their babies to gentle music with minimal screaming and moaning. It seemed like we had struck gold! Each night we dutifully put in our “relaxation” CD and promptly were sent off into Snoreville … we thought wow, this must really work if we are lulled into sleep this easy. And yet, something in the back of my mind was nagging.

We went to each of our appointments, updating our practitioner and glowing in the way that soon-to-be parents often do. It was all going along so well. We flew to California at five and a half months and all was well. We flew to Jamaica for my best friend’s wedding before my seventh month and everyone commented on my glow and how well I was doing. Little did I know my stretch marks were showing and my large ankles were a preview of what was to come.

Suddenly at thirty-two weeks, the first visit my husband had ever missed, I had an elevated BP. They tested my urine and found protein (blood). It was a quick ride in a panicked state to the hospital a few miles away and a long day of testing to come. They monitored me to make sure the baby was okay and that preeclampsia was not setting in. I was put on bed rest and sent home. We returned to the birthing classes and were reassured that all would be well. That evening we envisioned our labor and were to determine the length of our birthing in our heads and minds … I chose two and half hours (the time it took me to be born at home, incidentally). Turns out, I was off by about … a full TWO DAYS and SEVERAL hours!
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02.10.2009
Kristi Vega
Wow, what kind of class tells you that you can envision the length of labor you "want"? What a crock! I've had 4 babies, two drug-free, and two with relief from an epidural at hour 30ish. Going drug-free is a mental game--it's not that it doesn't hurt, it's about all kinds of factors, including your risk factors as well as the babies. Medicine is there to take advantage of when necessary, no class should teach that it's all bad, that it's all or nothing. Before the last baby, we went to the hospital tour and heard the nurse telling all the new parents they could expect to dilate one cm per hour. We tried not to laugh and snort too loudly. Thanks for sharing your story!
02.10.2009
Amanda Brown
Thank you for writing this! I, too, took an alternative birthing class, quite possibly the same one, relaxed and envisioned for months, and ended up in tears as a Pit drip was started. My water broke on a Saturday, and despite miles of walking, labor didn't begin on its own. So Sunday night, it was time for the dreaded Pitocin. After one botched epidural (and a doctor who helpfully said "You couldn't do it, huh?") and one lovely one, administered by another doctor (thankfully), I welcomed my son into the world. For me, too, the epidural was what allowed me to relax, go from 3 -10 centimeters, and give birth in under an hour, after 41/2 hours of labor (and "breathing") brought me 1 centimeter. I've spent most of the last 9 months coming to terms with a birth that wasn't what I had hoped for, but ultimately I know I listened to my body and did what it needed. We won't be returning to that particular class, either. My husband's words: "That was kind of a load of crap, wasn't it?"
It feels good to write.

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