It’s pretty apparent that fame, money, and beauty lead to gluttony, drugs, and wacky baby names. While our Hollywood elite chose Apple, Coco, Suri, Hazel, and Phinnaeus; America’s top baby names for 2007 were tame in comparison. Aidan, Ethan, and Jacob were the most popular names for boys, while Sophia, Isabella, and Emma got top billing for girls’ names. If you are having trouble thinking of a name for your cherub, look no further then the hills of Hollywood. Here’s a list of celeb baby names that will either inspire, perplex, or amuse!
Audio Science (Shannyn Sossamon and Dallas Clayton)
This is the latest hip new major at UCLA. Shannyn and Dallas are ensuring that little Audio will carve her future in the field of Audio Science.
Banjo (Rachel Griffiths and Andrew Taylor)
Oh, the Taylors come from Alabama with their son Banjo on their knee.
Denim and Diezel (Toni Braxton and Keri Lewis)
I hear that Toni and Keri have lifetime supply of free Diesel jeans.
Dixie Dot (Anna Ryder Richardson and Colin MacDougall)
Ooops, this must have been a typo—they must have meant Dixie Cup. Dixie already has a career as a highly successful lemonade stand owner.
Fifi Trizibell (Bob Geldof and Paula Yates, siblings: Pixie and Peaches Honeyblossom)
This child is a part poodle, part pixie.
God’Iss Love Stone (Lil’ Mo and Al Stone, sibling HeavenRapper)
Well, it’s a good thing that God is love, because with that name, this child is not going to have many friends to love.
Jermajesty (Jermaine Jackson and Alejandra)
“No, no, Jermajesty, you will not grow up to be a spoiled brat who believes your poop is encrusted with diamonds and rubies!”
Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf)
That’s pretty generous of Jason and Beth, she has two whole job options!
Puma (Erykah Badu)
I love my running shoes too, but my kid’s name is not going to be New Balance.
Rebel (Robert Rodriguez and Elizabeth Avellan, siblings: Racer, Rocket, and Rogue)
Rebel rebel, you’ve torn your dress
Rebel rebel, your face is a mess
Rebel rebel, how could they know?
Hot tramp, I love you so!
David Bowie called, he wants his song back. (Actually, Mr. Bowie isn’t one to talk. He named his tyke Zowie, a fine name. But, Zowie Bowie? Wacky cracky.)
Thijs (Matt and Annette Lauer)
Thijs? As in this name is awful.
Daisy Boo (Jools Norton and Jamie Oliver)
Their Pomeranian puppy was born on the same day. The family mixed up the birth certificates.
Satchel (Tonya Linette Lewis and Spike Lee)
Mr. and Mrs. Lee, a satchel is a small bag, sometimes with a shoulder strap, not a small girl you sometimes strap on to your shoulder.
Caspar (Claudia Schiffer and Matthew Vaughn)
As in Casper, the friendly ghost? Maybe he will grow up to kiss Christina Ricci while floating in the air.
Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet Rodan, and Diva (Frank Zappa)
I think Frank was hoping to start some sort of hippie-nudist commune in his household.
Tiger Lily Heavenly Hiraani (Michael Hutchence and Paula Yates)
They were watching Peter Pan when little Tiger Lily was conceived—a far better choice then Wendy or Tinkerbell.
Pirate (Jonathan and Deven Davis)
I think the Davis’ were also watching Peter Pan when little Pirate was conceived.
Rainbow Joan of Arc (Arlyn and John Phoenix)
This couple’s favorite pastimes are reading Noah’s Ark and chasing rainbows.
Tu (Rob Morrow)
Tu Morrow. As in “tomorrow.” Rob’s all-time favorite movie is Annie.
Sage Moon Blood (Sylvester Stallone)
Sage is okay, Moon is also border-line acceptable, but blood?! I just don’t know why you would name your child blood.
Celebrities are the royalty of our country. Their choices in nomenclature are evocative of regal families bestowing titles. This tyke will live on as homage to his famous parent. It’s kind of like plastic surgery, everyone wants to look better, but celebrities will get weekly botox, four nose-jobs, and one tummy-tuck and face-lift per year. They want to stand out, way out—at any cost. While I am all for originality and a dash of shock value, I hope celebs realize that little Dixie Dot and Tu Morrow will grow up to be their own individual person, not just appendages of their actor-parent.
