The Family Bed: Should You Co-sleep with Your Baby?

On March 14, 2010, a couple in Reedsburg, Wisconsin, discovered their three-month-old baby dead in bed with them. According to AP news reports, the couple brought their baby into their bed after an early-morning feeding—something they had also done with their two older children—and later discovered he had stopped breathing.

For families who did or still do co-sleep, this type of story is very difficult to hear. But according to the Consumer Product Safety Commission’s (CPSC’s) latest study, at least sixty-four babies under age two die each year from sleeping in adult beds. These deaths result from accidental smothering by an adult, getting trapped between the mattress and headboard or other furniture, and suffocation on a soft water bed mattress. Nikki Flemming, a CPSC public-affairs specialist for the past eighteen years, insisted in a phone interview that research shows that the safest spot for babies is in a crib, without any bedding or bumpers, and sleeping on their backs.

With that said, I personally know of many parents who have co-slept with their children, especially those who breastfed. It’s a tempting prospect, as it means a mom doesn’t have to constantly get up to feed or wake up a sleeping baby after she finishes eating. I recall doing this many times with both of my own babies after a late-night or early-morning feeding.

Besides the fact that co-sleeping is more convenient in this regard, parenting experts such as Dr. Sears and others who advocate attachment parenting are in favor of the practice. Dr. Sears’s argument is that sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) is a larger concern—causing up to 4,250 deaths a year—and that safe co-sleeping helps parents keep a closer eye and ear on their infants. In one of Dr. Sears’s latest articles on safe sleeping, he called for scientists to conduct a thorough study to determine the number of parents who co-sleep and the main causes of SIDS, since this latest CPSC study showed deaths that were non-SIDS-related.

Boy, is this topic confusing for today’s parents. To shed light on this issue, I interviewed Robert Hamilton, MD, a Santa Monica, California–based pediatrician who has been practicing for twenty-six years, is a father of six, and is the coordinator of Light House Medical Missions, providing medical assistance to the children of Sierra Leone. I was a bit surprised to learn that Dr. Hamilton largely agreed with Dr. Sears, though he added a few caveats regarding safety.

“Listen, the reality is that a lot of people co-sleep with their children. Around the world, mothers co-sleep all the time ... I really have no problem with co-sleeping, but with rules. The mother can’t be on medication or pain medication or using alcohol. She can’t be using anything that would alter her responsiveness,” Dr. Hamilton said.

Most mothers are highly sensitive to their baby’s presence and often just don’t sleep as much as they should when co-sleeping, he pointed out. Dr. Hamilton added that the scenario of a parent’s rolling on top of the baby is highly unlikely, unless the parent is under the influence of some medication or alcohol.

But what about suffocation? It’s important to not place a baby on a water bed or on a bed with a very soft mattress or additional puffy bedding (such as a comforter) that the baby could roll over on and end up facedown in—“use common sense,” says Dr. Hamilton. And if your desire to have the baby close is mainly to ensure that you can hear his breathing, Dr. Hamilton advises parents to consider purchasing a co-sleeper, a small, flat, adjacent crib that attaches to their bed but allows the parents to slide the baby off the mattress. (If you buy a used co-sleeper, be sure to check the status of its model number with the CSPC first, as some models from years past have been recalled.) Another option is to place the baby’s crib, bassinet, or pack-n-play at the foot of the bed for the first four to six months.

11 readers liked this story.
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01.30.2011
Amie Smirni
We practice co-sleeping in our family and feel it has brought us closer together. We created a sacred space in the bed (aka the safe zone that could not be taken over by pillows, blankets, and bodies). We played wonderful lullaby music, and enjoyed the time spent together. When our daughter was older, she slept in the crib in our room, and was soothed by the sounds of our breathing. Just before she turned 3, she chose that it was time to have a big girl bed, and that was when we set her up in her own room. The transition was smooth because (I believe) she felt loved, safe, supported, and ready.
01.27.2011
Patricia Cliff
As an RN, mother of 4 and instructor of many, many parenting classes, I have never advocated sleeping with your baby. I breastfed all 4 kids and put them on a FLEXIBLE feeding schedule from the day they were born. I "flexibly" nursed at 7, 10, 1, 4, 7 and 10 and then let them sleep at night until they awakened, in their own cradle...in the next room! During the day I would wake them to feed them if they didn't wake on their own, thus assuring that they got plenty of nutrients and kept their days and nights straight. I used only breast milk for the first 4 months, and they all thrived heartily, all 4 sleeping through the night by 7 weeks max. Call me selfish, but getting up for two or three 20 minute night feedings/diaper changings and promptly crawling back into my own warm bed sure beat worrying about having a baby beside me 24-7 and nursing on demand. I preferred to welcome my kids to our family, not make them the center of my universe. But that's just me...
07.26.2010
Liz Baran
(cont from bottom) heart ache we found my baby died of a peyton heart hole! this is why im agaisnt co sleeping not because its not good for the baby but due to the fact that our government is not out to save lifes but out to make the world a place of judgment and heart ache for parents like ourselves. keep the cradle in your room but keep the baby out of your bed. uncle sam will make it the most horrific expr. you'll ever have in your life when i dont think there is some thing much worse the loosing a baby! but they will make you feel raped again in the end!
07.26.2010
Liz Baran
i have to say after loosing an infant, and being accused of killing my own child i like this article. Not only is it open minded but shows aspects of both sides. here is the problem i have with the government in this issue. I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl aug 06 and woke up to a dead baby in oct 06. not only was this the most traumatic event i have ever had happen to me! but then to be told that i could be charged with negligent homicide if the test came back that i killed in my sleep was even worse. in my state they have a minimal amount of time to declare cause of death. so the first death certificate i received stated sids due to co sleeping! and for a whole eighteen months i had to live with the thought of i killed my own child and was a officer going to show up at my door and arrest me in front of my children at any time. society has set out to see the worst in every thing at all times and judge before all facts have been found. after almost 20 mo and a whole world
07.14.2010
katherine
I had my first girl in 2009 and i had never planned on sleeping with her. I eventually was so worn out she would fall asleep on my while i slept in a chair or the couch, and at the time just before she was born a pipe burst in the master bath which flooded the master bedroom and living room so we moved into her nursery and her crib was beside the bed and always went to sleep with us in her bed same time we went to bed and we have since moved out and she had adapted very well she can sleep with out us. Now with baby # 2 she will be in our room in a cradle until we put our first in a toddler bed.
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