“The best things in life are free” or so the saying goes, but how many of us really believe this to be true? Is the latest flat screen TV free? The latest fashions, school fees, water and electricity, are they all free? Well, of course we know the answer to be no. So to work we go, to earn the dollars to have these things. Possessions we seem to be ever increasingly regarding as the essentials. Where in this materialistic society of ours can we truly find the things to make us feel happy and give us the fulfillment we crave, without the high price tag? Why haven’t we learnt to look within and make this happen for ourselves? Let’s get back to basics.
The first tousled hair, squinty eyed smile of the morning from a three year old is enough to melt the heart and set a great start for the day. Holding hands on the way to school, letting ourselves pick up on that excitement and energy that children seem to emit. Watching them for longer than necessary as they sleep, taking up more of the bed each night as they grow, or so it seems. All free.
The only payment we have to make is with our time. Our kids don’t demand anymore than our full attention at least once a day. Whether it’s at breakfast, a lunch outside together, or that all important after school chat, they just want to be heard. Of course as parents we have to earn the dollars to provide for our children, but let’s not put that ahead of forging a long lasting and meaningful bond with these little people whom we created.
Can we let go of the feeling of having to accumulate for our self-justification and instead let our experiences make us richer. Will there be a time when we book family time in our diary with the same importance at which we make it for everyone else. In our lives we seem to forge so few true and honest relationships, that when we have them right there just waiting to be nurtured and developed it’s too important to let the time pass us by. Our lives are too fleeting as we fill them to the brim with activities, that one day we look back and it’s too late to regain what’s lost.
Our children look to us for all examples of how to treat people, interact with others and become the people they were destined to be. So let’s put in place great life patterns which will in turn serve them well into adult hood. You are worth the effort and the time investment, is the message our children should receive everyday in many different forms. We love you and are interested in what you have to say, should be reinforced at every opportunity. We are not all able to put into words how we feel at all times but our body can say so much that our mouth can’t.
No words are needed for a hug, holding hands or a cuddle before bed. If words don’t slip easily from our lips then we should let the kisses flow. We as parents are blessed with the chance to help develop these children into caring and well rounded adults who live a life of integrity, fulfillment and happiness. But to do this we must look within, make sure that these are the messages we are sending out. These messages are not only direct conversations we have with our kids, it’s when we are talking with friends or dealing with people in shops.
So the next time you are about to betray a confidence or laugh at some one more unfortunate, remember that our children watch us and they listen to what we say and how we say it. Sadly they listen to us sometimes more than we do to them.
Some of us, for a multitude of reasons have to work full time and yet have great quality time with our kids. Some are at home full time and yet take for granted the time available and never truly make full use of it.
The key is to find the happy medium and what is best for your family situation. The thing that must never alter is the way in which we enjoy, cherish, praise and listen at all times when we are with our kids. No rose coloured glasses are being worn here. We all understand that for our sanity and the well being of our children we need time out. To do things that we enjoy and that nurture us and keep us developing as parents, wives, husbands friends and people in our own right. This is seen to be healthier for all parties involved.
Take the time you need to be alone, run, walk, sew or read and never feel guilty about it. Just also never feel the guilty when you leave the bed unmade, dishes undone, ironing basket full and the cat drinking from the toilet, if in this time you are spending magical moments with a person who doesn’t see any of the above. They only see that you are with them, with no distractions.
Let us love our children totally, honestly and proudly and expect nothing in return. If we are lucky, in years we will look back and have a mind and a heart full of memories. These moments will come to us in the form of a smell, a sound, a word or date, which will be as clear to us well as to our children. We will know years before they have even realized how lucky we all were. Because it won’t be until they take are parents that it will hit them.
So when the TV has become obsolete, the clothes are out dated and our nests are well and truly empty, we will richer than we ever imagined.
Let us be enriched by what our children bring to our lives and let’s give ourselves the permission to enjoy and cherish it. Always!
