Does Birth Order Shape Our Personalities?

Scientists the world over have spent countless words and oceans of ink debating the issue of nature versus nurture. But how your child develops might have as much to do with the order in which they were born, as it does with their genes or environment.

Alfred Adler, a contemporary of Freud and Jung, first put forth the idea, claiming that when a child is born deeply impacts their personality. According to Adler …

Eldest children are socially dominant, highly intellectual, and extremely conscientious. Unfortunately, they’re also less open to new ideas, and prone to perfectionism and people pleasing—the result of losing both parents’ undivided attention at an early age, and working throughout their lives to get it back.

Middle children, sandwiched between older and younger siblings, often develop a competitive nature, making them natural entrepreneurs later in life. They tend to be the most diplomatic and flexible members of the family and often, eager for parental praise, develop musical or academic gifts.

Youngest children, according to birth order theory, tend to be dependent and selfish—as they’re used to others providing for them. But despite the negatives, they’re also quite often the life of the party—fun, confident, and comfortable entertaining others.

And only children? Like last borns, they are regularly spoiled, according to Adler, and have a hard time when they don’t get their own way. School can be a particularly difficult transition, as they’re used to being the center of the familial universe. But all that parental focus pays off. Only children are often mature for

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01.25.2012
DeniseAnn
There must be a baby in my family out there that nobody knows about, because this could not be further from the truth in my experience. I am the baby. Yet, I am the leader, I am the most mature and have been since I was a child, I am the most independent, I am the most financially stable, I am the one who handles all family crises, etc. My siblings turn to me now as adults when something needs handled or for advice. Maybe this is often true, but maybe when it is, it is a sign of inconsistent parenting.
02.22.2011
Lola Anderson
I think apart of the story is pretty true, us middle children are often looked over. We do strive for individuality and often float between disciplines. I can always tell the birth order of any individual when speaking to them. Only children and the baby of the family are normally spoiled. The eldest tend to have a sense of entailment.
In my hometown, families there believed in this kind of birth order thing. They believe that a child's personality depends on his birth order. They can actually identify what a child's order in the family by just evaluating their attitudes. They also have this kind of love matching thing, like if you're looking for a lifetime partner if ever you're a youngest you must avoid a partner who is also youngest in the family, because relationship wont work, you will fight and fight the end of the end. They also believe that the best match is, a guy eldest and a girl youngest. Being dominant he can control his girl in a way she wont be acting anything bratty. lol!
I dont believe this either. I am the 3rd child out of 4 and I am the most dependable, responsible, least-competetive child out of the four. How do you explain that. I am also a cancer and am very passionate about family. I love security in my family, knowing they will be there, makes me feel secure. I am organized. Though, the youngest sibling is spoiled and still doesnt do many chores after all 3 of us moved out. There are some truths to this topic but it is NOT SET IN STONE!
A child’s personality is determined both by heredity and by experience. Renowned child psychologist David Elkind explores this topic in his blog post on Birth Order Effects: http://www.justaskbaby.com/blogs/professor‐elkind/birth‐order‐effects
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