I knew the day would eventually come. The day he would say something like “I hate you” or “I don’t love you” or “You’re not my real mother.” I just didn’t know how much it would hurt.
The thing is, he doesn’t even know what hate means, he just said it because he knew it was bad. Knew it would make me mad and get my attention. But, just the same, it cuts my heart in two. Makes me realize how much I really want his approval and his love. (Yes, I’m just as insecure as he is.)
As an adoptive parent does it hurt more than those of you who have biological children? Not sure. Maybe. Maybe not. It still makes me question what I am doing right or wrong, if I am spending enough time with him, if I am sending him the right messages, if I am loving on him enough.
In reality though, I can only do so much each day. And I can only love him all the time, every day.
By Marcie Pickelsimer of Grown in My Heart, an Adoption Network
