How Much Pressure on Kids Is Too Much?

if your child says "mom/dad i hate you you knew i could'nt do it and made me any way"(they'll take it back later) then you just crossed the line and put to much pressure on them.
my mom expeirenced that twice

Encourage your kids to be independent. Help them set goals and determine the best ways to achieve them. Don't force your own goals on your children. You don't get a do-over on your life, so even if there's something you "wish you would have done," that doesn't mean your child wants to do it. Encouragement is crucial and independence is key.

when you put their lives unnecessarily in danger or try to have them fulfill your dreams or finance the family--you have gone too far

That kind of a trip would be considered "high risk", even for an experienced boater. Her parents should sit down and explain that her decision to attempt the Voyage was not wise,and not well thought out. Perhaps she should talk to a counselor.

I appreciate parents who want to nurture their children's natural talent, but I think I'd be very nervous about letting my child be gone for as long as this girl was unsupervised. Helping your kids reach push goals supervised seems like a healthy thing, but unsupervised .... I'm not sure I'd do that.

I think it's important for parents to help kids discover what academic and extracurricular activities they have a natural aptitude for, but striking a balance between school, socializing, and recreation seems even more important. If a child's lesson schedule is becoming prohibitive in terms of his/her having fun and making friends, that's when I think it's time for parents to ease back a bit. And when parents are considering letting their child do completely unsupervised activities--in his or her own neighborhood, let alone something like an around-the-world solo sailing mission--that's when, in my opinion, it's time for them to remember this: a child, no matter how talented, is still a child. My kid's never getting on a boat alone and setting off for the Indian Ocean. I don't care if she's the Amelia Earhart of the sea.

I definitely think letting a sixteen-year-old--regardless of her skill level--sail around the world by herself is just too much. I mean, my mom didn't even like me driving by myself in my own town. Even though it seems like Sunderland really wanted to go, that's a lot of pressure on someone so young, even if it's not all coming from the parents. I can't believe how much pressure some parents put on their kids, enrolling them in a million different extra-curriculars before they've even hit middle school. As long as the kid's happy, that's fine, but parents should always check in with the kid. There's a fine line between encouraging and pressuring, though as a non-parent, I can't say what that is.

I'm all about overachieving children, but I think I would have to say no if my sixteen-year-old asked me if she could sail around the world alone. "Don't worry mom, I'll be back in 87-ish days." (I have no idea how long sailing around the world takes, I apologize.) I don't think so. I also think that there is a distinction to be made between really ambitious children and parents who are trying to live vicariously through their children. If a kid wants to practice basketball five hours a day because it's his dream to play in the NBA, great. If the kid is practicing five hours a day because his dad wants him to play in the NBA, not cool.

I have to be truthful and I dont know all the circumstances to make an assumption but I could not sanction my daughter making this trip alone. And, especially the route that she took and at the time of the year. Master sailors spoke about her route and the upcoming storms. I am for women excelling on all fronts and by the way I am a tennis player who just turned 70. I play in 90 degree weather. Yesterday, I stoped playing because of the heat. I did not get sick but I listened to that little voice that says to you: stop now!