In the last ten years or so, there has emerged a dramatic and dangerous sexual change among teenage girls that is not equally affecting teenage boys. Biologically speaking, teenage boys are a raging bottle of hormones. How they are taught to handle that rage is based mostly on conditioning by their parents. Some parents latently teach their sons to follow their hormones by bedding any girls who are willing, and probably some that are not-so-willing. Recall the infamous “Spur Posse” boys of Lakewood, California, who earned game points for every girl they landed. While many of us were appalled by the behavior, a “boys will be boys” attitude excused their improprieties among some parents.
Boys are boys. But just as we need to teach boys healthy and non-abusive alternatives for their hormonal build-up, we also need to actively and aggressively teach girls that sex is not a game. Fifteen or twenty years ago, girls experimented, played, and petted with boys, but it generally required someone special to have sex, including oral sex. Whereas women used to learn their sexual power through experimentation and relationships in college, now they are trying to tread those tricky waters in middle and high school. Blame Monica Lewinsky. Blame Paris Hilton. Blame hip-hop and rap. But, the blame game is just distracting us from taking conscious, immediate action.
Parents must sit down with eleven, twelve, thirteen-year-old girls and frankly discuss boys, alcohol, sex, and the dangers of flaunting their sexuality with thong underwear and exposed cleavage. Back in the day, there were a few sexually fast and hard-partying girls who were scorned by the “good” girls. Any other girls that were sexual were quiet about it. But most teenage girls weren’t going there at all, at least not in junior high. Now, most of them are. They’re drinkers and drug users, honor students, white girls, black girls, poor, rich and middle class girls…everyone’s involved.
It is hard for most Americans to understand how this hypersexuality of teenagers is affecting girls, and society as a whole. Aside from imminent dangers of unwanted pregnancies and STDs, more so than ever, we are allowing the creation of a whole generation of young women who are relying on the sexual interest of boys for self-esteem and validation.
