Twenty-Six Ways to Get Your Teenagers to Stop Talking to You

By: Karen Alonge (View Profile)

Interrupt.
Correct them.
Raise your voice.
Cry.
Question their intelligence and judgment.
Criticize them.
Don’t take them seriously.
Use sarcasm.
Lecture them.
Speak condescendingly.
Tell them they are wrong, misinformed, or immature.
Talk more than you listen.
Compare them to other kids: Why can’t you be like ...
Tell them how worried you are about them.
Bring up something they told you out of context later.
Offer solutions that they did not ask for.
Punish them based on what they disclose to you.
Try to manipulate them using guilt or shame.
Remind them that you are in charge.
Be a hypocrite: tell them to do as you say, not as you do.
Lie to them.
Demand respect, but don’t give it.
Betray their trust or confidence.
Refuse to acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes at times.
Bring up a list of transgressions from the past to help you prove your point.
Predict a negative outcome for their future.

First published January 2009

5 readers liked this story.

More from Karen Alonge

Key terms (tags) for this article:
teenager, teen, communication, raising teenagers, parenting teens, negative tactics (view other popular tags)

Grounding and Curfew Violations
05.19.2009
Parenting : Raising Kids : Tweens & Teens

Should I Join Facebook to Monitor my Teen?
03.08.2009
Parenting : Raising Kids : Tweens & Teens

Don't Blink
04.27.2012
Parenting : Raising Kids : Tweens & Teens

Showing stories 1-3 of 10

Showing stories 1-10 of 10

view less ›

From Around the Web:

Comments

This is a great article! Kriss: The idea of this list is a what-not-to-do guide for parenting teenagers. The author is not saying parents should do these things.

They make them stop talking, but these points also hurt the kids. For example, if you can't lie to a frined, why in the name of all that's holy, would you lie to your kids? You practically are a bully, just as bad as the ones at school. I do not like this post at all. Ok, I just went over these one more time. What I wrote does not cover it! This are alot worse that the bullies at school, because kids rely and listen to thier parents alot more that the bullies. Closer to heart explains it better. Whoever listens to this might not respect thier kids as people much, and I feel bad for them. But these are just short-term fixes, and will lead to trauma and fights later. My step-dad's daughter, 29 now, and with kids, got alot of ridicule and disicouragement from her mother, and was a slave to the cliques and middle and high school aren't her favorite memories. All because of the subtle ways to shatter her confidence. That is mostly why I strongly disagree with this.

Excellent points you made. However, I do not agree with the first two things listed in 11. There is nothing wrong with telling a child that they are wrong or misinformed. That, in my opinion, is part of our job as a parent. It should, however, never be done in a condescending way. Telling them they are immature is certainly not a good way to handle things. Also, point number 14, if done in the right way and at the right time, I feel, is important. Point number 18, should be taken with a grain of salt. While we should never shame our children, a bit of guilt has helped me raise our children. Just as we as parents might feel guilt, which helps to guide us, our children should be made to feel (simple) guilt when they mess up. Again though, in the right setting and at the right time. Point number 26. We do want our teenagers to know that some actions will have a bad outcome. Most importantly, at the right time! Other then that, you are dead on with all the other points you mad