Bullies, Public Nudity, and Conformity

“I’ll be famous one day, but for now I’m stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons.”
–Diary of a Wimpy Kid 

I’ll bet when you first saw the title of this blog post you thought I was going to be writing about Corporate America or Congress or my weekend, right? Nope. Even worse. Middle School. And Bullies. Has anyone in the history of the world ever looked back on these awkward, painful and embarrassing years and wished they could go back? I didn’t think so. Unless they wished to go back to finally stand up to a bully or two.

As I mentioned here, one of these future criminals punched my oldest son in the arm on the bus on his way home from his second day of middle school. I now have 11 years of experience as a parent and I feel I’m on solid ground here when I say that something must be terribly wrong at the homes of these derelicts. I’ve met all sorts of children and parents and time and again I see that the children who misbehave most often and most severely are children whose parents are either too busy to be bothered, encourage aggressive behavior, abusive or simply set no boundaries out of ignorance.

I’m not in any way suggesting that my children are angels or that I am a perfect parent. Far from it. My kids do get into trouble and I do make mistakes. In this specific situation what I’m talking about is a fundamental lack of respect for other people combined with an overwhelming need to feel physically superior to those same people. There is something seriously wrong with a child that even considers punching an innocent by-stander for no apparent reason, let alone actually does it. 

Following that logic, children who are raised with manners and who respect others, will always have a difficult time standing up to a bully. It’s not because they are wimpy. It’s because this behavior is actually bizarre and completely foreign. It’s no less bizarre than if someone were to stand up in the middle of a business meeting, jump up on the conference table and strip naked. If you were sitting in that meeting, what would you do? Nothing. You’d be too shocked. Of course, if it went on for any length of time you may call 911, start laughing, try to talk your nude co-worker down or at least cover him up.

3 readers liked this story.
share
POST
11.13.2009
Cyndi Lopez
Kriss: I'm not sure what vodka and "illigal" substances have to do with this article. My comment is referring to a zero tolerance policy for bullying, since that was what the article was about.
11.13.2009
Chrissa
Are you at all ignorant to the news? The zero tolerance policy can be out of line. It should be zero tolerance if a teacher catches a kid with a bag of illigal substances, or with a bottle where you can see the word 'Vodka' on it. Not if a kid runs up to a teacher telling him she saw a kid with a bag of dried leaves, or if a teacher sees a drowsy kid with a plastic unmarked bottle. It can go way too far, I do NOT agree with it. I go with deliberation before action. As for the bullying, if it were me, if I were in danger, I'd show the bully off and walk to the nearest authority. And if it were a threat, it's next time I see a teacher. Easy and simple.
11.05.2009
Cyndi Lopez
Thanks for your comments ladies! Jayne: My son is in karate and tackle football. None of that prepared him for this unprovoked punch out of the blue. We also have always told him it's ok to fight back if necessary. I don't disagree with that message at all. I just think the problem itself needs to be addressed much differently than it is now. Linda: I felt the same way! I SO wanted to go punch the kid myself (I also did not). :) I agree a zero tolerance policy should be mandatory.
11.05.2009
Linda Medrano
Cyndi, this is a great article. I can only hope that one day, we'll be a more civilized people but I'm not counting on it. I completely agree with your assessment of the shock we feel when someone behaves in an totally inappropriate manner. When my children were involved, I lost all my zen mentality and wanted to beat the person who hurt them to a pulp. (This never happened, but it's how I felt.) At the very least, middle school should have a MANDATORY expulsion policy for any child who touches another in a way that causes pain. This might cause parents to wake up to the fact that their kids is a bully and it won't be tolerated.
11.04.2009
Jayne Martin
You make some very good points here. If I had a child, I have them enrolled in a martial arts program by the age of five and I'd tell him/her, "Honey, never start a fight, but if someone messes with you, you make sure you damn well finish it." It only takes one bully getting his butt kicked to send a message to the rest of them. Probably not the message you wanted to hear.
It feels good to write.

Your stories, musings, and advice are welcome here. We know you've got something to share, so jump in—maybe get a little famous. And don't worry—you can save a draft!

most liked
Loader_buff
Other topics you might appreciate
Body & Soul Style Neighborhood & World