The January suicide of fifteen-year-old Phoebe Prince rocked me to the core when I heard about it. An investigation into her death has led prosecutors to allege that “unrelenting” physical, verbal, and online threats over the course of three months led to her suicide. As of last week, nine Massachusetts teens, including three sixteen-year-old girls, are being charged with crimes that range from assault to human rights violations to statutory rape. Several will be tried as adults. Perhaps most disturbing of all is the fact that Phoebe is just one of many bullying-related suicides. A rash of recent “bullycides” (the fact that a term like this now exists speaks volumes) has inspired forty-one states to enact anti-bullying laws in an attempt to send a strong message. This is an important step. However, ultimately, the message that bullying is unacceptable behavior will be most effective if it comes consistently from us as parents. As the Phoebe Prince case so profoundly illustrates, none of us want our child to be on either end of bullying because on both sides, lives are forever and detrimentally changed. It is a must that we be part of the solution.
- Be aware that prevention is always best. Children of any age are much less likely to become targets of bullying or bullies themselves if they have high self-esteem. Model self-value, praise your child often, acknowledge their strengths and accomplishments, and create opportunities to experience things they do well to build their confidence.
- Be proactive in your child’s school. Not all of us have time to serve on the PTA, but a great proactive step can come in the form of a letter or email to the head of the PTA that is also copied to a school administrator. It should clearly express the need for the development of a bullying prevention program in your child’s school. Bullypolice.org can also be a great resource for you. This watchdog organization advocates for bullied children and reports on every state’s anti-bullying laws. Referencing your state’s laws on bullying (if they exist) in your letter will likely get an administrator’s attention quickly. If you find out that laws don’t currently exist, an additional letter to your state representative is in order.
