Some single parents have never had the other parent around, so they’ve only ever expected to get on with things alone. However, other single parents have had the experience of being part of a nuclear family and having a partner to share the load. For them the transition to an extended family—them with the children and the father in another residence—has been a painful one. Whatever your experience, there are some skills you simply must have as a single parent. Here are my top five:
1. Be Organized
The first rule for success in anything is that YOU are 100 percent responsible for YOU. Now, we can excuse ourselves and say, “I slept late,” “I didn’t get that note from my son’s school,” “I forgot it was at four o’clock,” “I’ll do it tomorrow,” or “I don’t have the energy.” But these attitudes will not help you or your children to move forward to the rewarding and rich life that comes from being responsible and organized.
Getting organized means planning ahead. Look at the year, the month, the week and define what would make it excellent for you and for your children. Then break these aspirations down into easy actions. So if it’s a holiday in June you want, then you know you’ll have to book ahead and ensure there’s enough money set aside to finance it. If it’s improved reading you want from your five-year-old, then you know you’ll have to dedicate twenty minutes every evening to sit down with him and practice. If it’s getting to grips with the practicalities of running a house, then think who would know the answers you’re looking for (a friend, the gas company, a plumber) and get on the phone. Be bold—every positive action you take will build your confidence and contribute to an even brighter future.
2. Get Working
Everyone’s circumstances are different, but I’m including this instruction in my top five because it’s my experience that working and earning are directly related to independence and confidence. It could be a part time job in a shop—something that fits around your children’s school times. It could be a full-time position in your field of expertise—something that requires extra support for your children’s care. Whatever it is, having a regular time when you’re committed to leaving the house and integrating with other adults, coupled with a financial reward for the commitment, creates a healthy contrast to our often children-focused evenings and weekends.
