When you first bring home your new baby, it’s as if the world stops. Forget the evening news; work troubles seem unimportant and everything pales in comparison to your sweet-smelling bundle of joy. But soon the stress of sleepless nights starts to kick in and you realize that the world is still turning. Your spouse—that wonderful person without whom you wouldn’t have your new baby—leaves gross dirty dishes in the living room or insists on watching football when you want to watch a movie. Little annoyances add up and the next thing you know ... you’re having an argument.
Arguments happen in the best of relationships. But as your darling baby grows into an impressionable child, do you let him or her witness your disagreements? Or do you keep your fights behind closed doors?
Presenting a United Front
When it comes to parenting decisions, moms and dads need to present a united front. Your kids may be small, but that’s all the better for finding tiny loopholes. When there is noticeable dissent among parents, children can begin to triangulate. “Kids start to get the impression that they can play one parent against the other,” explains Corinne Gregory, Founder and President of Social Smarts, a social skills educational company for children. Rather than disagreeing about consequences or other parenting issues in front of your kids, Gregory recommends talking to your spouse afterward about how you would have handled the situation. Out of the range of little ears, you and your spouse can come to a compromise and decide how you’ll handle similar situations in the future.
Fights Happen ... But Where?
It’s only natural for couples to have disagreements from time to time. Parents are people, with flaws and emotions that may—at times—conflict with their vision of perfect parenting. So should parents argue in front of their kids? According to Gregory, it depends how and about what.
Working it out in front of the kids.
Yelling or treating your spouse with disrespect isn’t a good idea in general, but it’s really not advisable when your kids are present. However, if you and your partner can work out your differences in a calm and emotionally healthy manner, is it okay for your kids to witness it?
