Being a mom is full of moments that require superhuman strength. Not only to carry a toddler and newborn across a parking lot to get to the car, but also to keep from screaming so loudly all the windows in the house shatter. Personally, I think it’s MUCH harder to keep from screaming.
In fact, a few weeks ago I could have used a bit more strength. I had just taken a shower (a small victory for me) and was in my room attempting to get dressed. My 2 ½ year-old son was hanging on my leg sobbing for some unknown reason and was still just in is diaper since he was refusing to get dressed. My 2 month-old was in her crib next door screaming and crying—demanding to be fed (again). One of my dogs was scratching urgently at the back door to go out. My other dog came in to my bedroom and puked on the rug, and then my phone started ringing.
I was standing there with wet hair in my underwear with tears streaming down my face and I screamed (to know one in particular), “I just want to put my pants on!!!”
Every mother has moments like these that we can all laugh about, but who do we have to laugh with? One of the hardest adjustments I had to make in becoming a stay-at-home mom was being alone all day. It took a long time to figure out that the thing I was really missing was a “water cooler friend”. Not necessarily a best friend, or even someone I had anything in common with outside of work, but I was missing having co-workers. I missed having someone to see everyday at work—someone to talk with about the weekend and laugh at all the craziness of life.
I always wonder how moms a generation ago made it without all of the things we have today. Some women didn’t even have cars to go anywhere! What many of them did have, however, was a community of neighborhood moms. They weren’t necessarily their first choice in friends, but they were co-workers. They were women to meet up with and talk about the week and laugh at all the hard things that made them want to scream. They were women who understood the uniqueness of this time of life. They were women who were willing to watch your kids for an hour if you needed help. At least that’s what I gather from the stories I’ve heard.
Today we live in an era of self-sufficiency. We’ve put more land between us and our neighbors and we’d much rather have our groceries delivered than to ask a neighbor to watch our kids for an hour so we can go shopping by ourselves. I can’t even imagine going next door to borrow a cup of sugar—even though I know that’s what our mothers used to do.
We’ve all ended up leaving the work place and setting ourselves up to work remotely. We save up for a swing set for the back yard instead of going to the park to have a “water cooler” session with our co-workers. I’m working on being a better neighbor and finding more co-workers through things like church and MOPS and moms groups, but I’ve also been fortunate enough to have found a true co-worker. She’s not my next-door neighbor. In fact, she lives 25 minutes away, but that doesn’t stop us from talking (on the phone) several times a day to check-in. She’s my “water cooler” friend who hears me laugh and cry and scream with the Wiggles singing back up. I am grateful for finding her and sharing my workday with her as well as hearing the details of what new things her child is doing or what’s on her to-do list for the day. I wish she would move next door, but in the meantime, we’ll keep working remotely together.
