“It ain’t nothing but a thing.”—Anonymous
Okay, well, maybe it’s not “anonymous,” but I have no idea who said it. The important thing is that someone said it … and it has become my personal mantra since last Friday. What happened last Friday you ask? Well, in case you couldn’t hear me yelling all the way over at your house, my three-year-old son, in a moment of frustration, threw a very large piece of Tupperware at our fifty-two-inch flat-screen TV (yes, the one we bought this past Christmas) and destroyed it. Completely busted. As in, unfixable. It’s out on the curb.
I honestly think it’s the first time I’ve ever said, “Wait ‘til your father gets home!” to one of my children. However, I doubt it will be the last. Anyway, after several minutes of righteous indignation and some “thinking time” spent sitting on the naughty step, Danny began to cry and said he was sorry he broke the TV—actually, he said, “I sowwy I bwoke da TB.” And I really do think he meant it.
The funny thing, and I mean funny peculiar, not funny ha-ha, is that shortly after the incident of the flying object and the subsequent offering of his Elmer Fudd-inspired apology, my son, Danny, decided to take a nap. He curled up on the couch, pulled a blanket over himself, and passed out until the following morning. My husband came home about thirty minutes after Danny crashed. Now, Danny is no fool … even my husband didn’t have the heart to wake him up out of sound sleep to give him a piece of his mind. And what is sweeter looking than a toddler peacefully napping on the couch? You would think that Danny passed out on purpose, but I don’t think he did. He had had a long day, he was tired, and he fell asleep. He wasn’t trying to hide from his father or avoid a spanking. He was sleepy, and so, he slept.
Well, without a doubt, Danny slept better than either my husband or I did that night. We both tossed and turned, fretting over the loss of the beloved (and expensive) center of our family’s entertainment, making a mental list of all the other places we could have spent that money—college funds, home improvements, a really nice vacation—and still maybe have something to show for it. And I personally lamented the fact that I just couldn’t stop him in time. I relived my slow-motion, “Nnnnnoooo!!!” over and over again. All night long. And you’ll never believe this, but after my restless night spent ruminating endlessly about the mishap, when I got up the next morning, my TV was still broken. What an efficient use of my time!
