How Do You Do It?

This being a very common question asked of this mom of six kiddos, I often wonder why people even have to ask. Can’t they see that I’m a saint, and my kids are always well behaved and even tempered. We do not yell or raise our voices in the slightest. Any of us. Ever. My floors sparkle and the laundry is always clean, folded, and hung up. I make all meals to perfection, and even Noah looks forward to the chicken cacciatore I make every Saturday night.

Wait … what? You don’t believe me? Okay, okay. Here’s the truth …

I very rarely leave my house with all of my kiddos in tow and when I do, I’ve been known to leave a certain blondie at the checkout counter as we make our way across town—without him. My kiddos dumped a whole bag of cheerios in the pantry today and every single Cheerio is still on the floor. We have clean clothes, but they are all piled in a giant heap, in the middle of the loft, at the top of the stairs. I spent lots of time with the kiddos today, and I tried not to yell at them, but they can be just. So. Darn. Frustrating. And I didn’t cook tonight; Ray went out and got tacos for dinner.

If you are anything like me, you wear many hats—wife, mother, friend, teacher, blogger, and more—but balancing those many roles can sometimes be quite challenging. Is it possible to do it all without losing your sanity?

I know that everyone has a different way of doing it, but since I am so often asked, I thought I would share some of the secrets that I’ve discovered to maintain my sanity, while filling my many roles. Maybe some of them will help you, too!

How many of you feel like you need help simply because you can’t do it on your own? I know I can’t do it on my own. Put your trust in the Lord and start your day talking to Him. He will help you get through one day at a time, if you trust in Him for strength.

Learn to say no and know when to say it. I have always been a people-pleaser so I know how difficult it is to feel like you are letting someone down. It can be torture for someone like me to say no, but it has been a key element to saving my sanity!

Spend quality time with your spouse, without the kids. My husband and I try to have regular date nights and we leave the kiddos with a trusted friend, or family member, and spend the evening together. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to spend quality time together … wait until the kiddos go to bed, turn off the TV and computers, and play a game or enjoy a glass of wine, and just talk.

Go with the flow. Some families are very scheduled and organized. Ours—not so much. In our family it is super important to make sure that our school work is done in an orderly fashion, but with so many little ones, short attention spans, and lots of testosterone, I must be very careful with how we make it through the day. Every day looks different, and you know what? That’s okay. Really.

Don’t sweat the small stuff. The laundry can go unfolded yet another day (or until my kiddos can fold it and put it away themselves, for that matter), and the licorice just before dinner won’t kill the kiddos. It’s the big stuff that matters. So, teach them how to be obedient, respectful, and helpful. Make sure that your kids learn how to love God and others simply by watching you. Spend time together, as a family, cultivating those relationships. This is the stuff that really matters.

11 readers liked this story.
From Around the Web:
01.08.2010
Sylvia Bradley
Loved your story....More Please!
06.17.2009
Deborah Goreham
This is great. I wish I could share it with my daughter. This is exactly how I did it raising my three as a single Mom. As soon as they could stand well on their own I would have them stand on a chair and do dishes with me. When they were a little older I would have them sit with me and fold laundry, starting with wash cloths. I would also have them pull the laundry out of the dryer. I liked doing it this way so I would know where they were and they were not get into things I didn't want them to.
04.12.2009
Heidi Evans
I love your article. I am also a Mom of 6, 5 boys and 1 girl (yes, alot of testosterone around here too). Mine are ages 11 down to 1. We do have to wear so many "hats" as Moms, I can definately relate to that comment. I think your advice on saying No is extremely helpful. I am such a people pleaser too. But, with 6 kids and a part time job and a husband, other peoples needs must come last! As if us Moms aren't so far down on the list as it is. I think also not sweating the small stuff is so true. We wouldn't survive being Moms of six if we stressed about every single little thing! Thanks again for the great story...
02.15.2009
Caroline Godin
Thanks for this! It was simple, obvious (I say that because I know these things in my heart though I need to be reminded), and blunt. God knows my husband's and my frustrations squatting in my parents' basement (one bedroom) with an almost one-year-old and another due in a month. Sometimes I feel like I'm crashing, breaking down, and there's no end in sight. Then something always happens to calm me down and I realize this isn't our lives forever. God does have a plan for us and somehow... Oops, I got rambly! sorry, but thanks so much for the post!
02.09.2009
JCV
I have found that one of the best inventions for parents of young children is ordering groceries over the internet. No stressful trips taking everyone to the store, no surprise purchases thrown in the cart when my back is turned, no tantrums in the aisle. Anyway, thank you for the inspiration, Christine. God bless you and your family.
It feels good to write.

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