Most moms so busy chasing after their little ones, the thought of caring for a parent may seem far off. But for many older moms (those of us who’ve given birth after the age of 35), the challenge of caring for aging parents while managing a young family may be very real. TV and radio personality Leeza Gibbons, a mother of three, knows this firsthand. Her own mother past away last year after a decade long battle with Alzheimer’s disease. Along the way, Gibbons, her father and siblings took turns making sure her mom Jean was receiving the help she needed at every turn. But the process was emotionally and physically draining. That’s why Gibbons is trying to help other caregivers avoid burnout and find support in her new book, Take Your Oxygen First. Gibbons also started a foundation called Leeza’s Place to assist caregivers of memory loss disorder patients.
The Well Mom talked with Leeza via email about what all of us can learn from her experiences and why her message of self-care is applicable to anyone.
LG: I think most caregivers, in fact most women, need to keep in mind the words ‘stop achieving and start receiving.’ We’re very good at accomplishing things. We’re very good at achieving things. We’re very good at solving problems. Most of us, however, are not so good at letting others help us or helping ourselves. We continue to need encouragement on ways to open up, let go, and receive. For care givers this is essential. The process is stressing, depressing, and depleting. And in no time, you can lose yourself and find all that’s in place of where your life use to be is resentment, anger, frustration and exhaustion. The caregiving experience can cut your life short by ten years!
TWM: How did you come up with the title of the book?
LG: When I first became a mother I remember hearing the words from the flight attendant on an airplane to, “Put my oxygen mask on first, before I help others.” I rolled my eyes and did what most mothers intuitively did...I assured myself that if my child did need me, I would absolutely give my child his or her oxygen before taking mine. Now I realize that, just as you only have a few seconds of mindful consciousness on an airplane in an emergency, we too have a finite amount of reserves in our own lives as care givers.
