Mother, father, friend, teacher, cook, housekeeper, entertainer, employee. The list goes on.
You wear more costumes than Lady Gaga dons in a two-hour concert.
Doing it all on your own can make you feel helpless, especially if you don’t have family to lean on. The good news? You’re not alone. Although it feels like you are, there are more than fourteen million other women out there battling the trials of raising children without a partner. If you’re conquering all the demands of being a single mom AND dealing with the emotional aftermath of a relationship breakup or divorce, it can be even more difficult to find balance in your life. But as a mom, you are willing to do what it takes. And whether it’s one kid or four, you need superhuman abilities to make it work. So why is it that people still have the nerve to tell you your children will probably end up drunk, drugged, violent and in jail? Or pregnant and perpetuating the cycle. Not to mention the media claims that single mothers are to blame for all that’s wrong in the world.
Trashing bras in the ’60s may have called women to unite and make strides in the workplace, but it only set them back at home. It created the monster of the supermom who could work full time only to come home, cook dinner and put her kids to bed. It’s caused a guilt for not stacking up and a struggle to do it all alone. This just in: it’s possible to do it all alone and still be a healthy individual. And it’s certainly okay to ask for help.
“Being the superhero mom and doing everything themselves isn’t a good approach. They have to realize they can’t be everything to everyone. It’s important they give themselves room to slip up once in awhile, as opposed to expecting themselves to be perfect,” says Brett Blumenthal, founder of Sheer Balance, which helps people find a balance between all the demands in their lives.
We sat down with Blumenthal and asked for her advice on how single moms can find the balance in their lives and make it all work. Here are seven tips:
1. Move closer to family: If a mother has a close connection with her family, she should rely on them. If a child’s world revolves around Mom, it can be very limiting for both of them socially. Expanding this world to other family members strengthens the support that both receive. It might make sense if finances are really tight that Mom looks for a job in closer vicinity to her family so the family can be part of her network in helping take care of the kids. Family doesn’t expect to be paid and grandparents can’t have grandkids around enough.
