Even thinking about it makes my blood pressure rise. My friend Brad emails me and says he talked to his mother and she’s ready to go up and would love for me to come along. And the biggest surprise of all, Brad’s not going to charge me for it. I was not planning on doing the hot air balloon ride until October, but the space in the bucket is available now. Brad says he, his siblings and his son will all be there at “the ground party” during the flight.
“Why are none of you going up?” I ask.
“I want to videotape it from the ground,” he says. I’m suspicious.
Why would someone send his 76-year-old mother up in a hot-air balloon and not go with her?
“Um, Brad, did you happen to check the safety record of this company?” I reluctantly ask.
“I just tried to call the owner to inquire about that info, but he’s been missing for a month,” he writes. “Something about mountains and electrical wires, said his assistant.”
He’s kidding. Right?
I tap into Google. Hot air balloons. Frequently asked questions. Is hot air ballooning safe? Yes, that’s a fair question. It says, and I kid you not, “It’s much safer than driving on Atlanta interstates.” Do I dare read on?
I search “Accident rates, Atlanta interstates” and this is what I find: “Every day, Atlanta’s interstates are the scenes of horrible multi-car accidents because of cars driving too fast.”
Too fast. I obviously need to make sure the balloon doesn’t go too fast. I read on in the FAQs and find out that sunrise flights tend to be slower than sunset flights. Sunrise it is. I somehow have to talk Mrs. Catherman into a sunrise flight. There is no need to go warp speed in a hot-air balloon.
Charlie X wouldn’t agree, of course. Charlie X from Star Trek, that is.
“He needs, he wants. Nothing happens fast enough,” Captain Kirk says about Charlie.
Yes, you guessed it. I’ve caught up on my early-morning Star Trek episodes.
“You keep wondering if man was meant to be out there,” Kirk says in the “Naked Time” episode. “You keep wondering, you keep signing up.”
“I wouldn’t examine a dream too closely. It might not turn out to be very pretty,” says Kirk in “Miri.”
“The point is that this isn’t the only life available,” says Captain Christopher Pike, back from the first episode, in “The Menagerie.”
Good stuff, this Star Trek. I find myself gravitating toward Spock.
“Has it occurred to you that there is a certain inefficiency in constantly questioning things that you’ve already made up your mind about?” he asks provocatively.
“I presume my calculations are correct,” he states confidently.
“Readings indicate that natural deterioration has been taking place on this planet for at least several centuries,” he asserts presciently, a harbinger of things to come in our environment, perhaps.
My husband, not a morning person, mind you, recently said to me, “Why are you hitting me up on going to cheese farms and operas when I just wake up? I think this List thing of yours is a scam. It’s just your way of getting us all to do what you want. I’m going to make my own list. We’re going to a Yankee game and Vegas.”
So I try to low-key it around him, and not mention the List too much.
“Um, I don’t know how ‘The Enemy Within’ ended because the DVD stopped working,” I say, reluctantly, while he pours his coffee in the to-go cup for his long, bumper-to-bumper commute downtown.
He stops short. “I love that episode,” he says. “When did it stop?”
“Right at the point when Kirk is trying to decide if he should risk transporting himself in order to become whole again, possibly annihilating himself.”
