So, Mother’s Day is around the corner again. Expect to get bombarded with advertisements starting with the phrase “Show her you care this year …” as close-ups of diamond rings and pendants are shown to entice your partner into spending far too much money.
Mother’s Day has become a farce in America, and frankly, I’m tired of it. I’m not just talking about the Hallmark commercialization surrounding Mother’s Day, either; I’m talking about how poorly this country treats its mothers. If our leaders actually valued motherhood and “family values,” they’d put their money where their mouth is. New moms must have support to start off motherhood without going bankrupt. I’m talking paid maternity leave. We are the only developed nation in the world not to offer it. Think about it. It’s shameful.
I have lived in London for three years now, and the opportunity to live abroad has been eye-opening. I have seen firsthand how new mothers are able to take six months’ paid maternity leave in England, with the option of taking an additional six months unpaid with their jobs intact. The British economy is not falling down because of these policies.
My husband opens offices for his company throughout Europe and Scandinavia. Last night he called from Stockholm and told me how his Swedish colleague is going to take four months of paid paternity leave. “It’s the standard in Sweden—can you imagine? God, I’d have loved to have been able to do that when William was born,” he said to me with a sarcastic laugh. He took only one week off—and since I was in the hospital for five days, that equated to only two workdays at home with me and William. His one week off also counted as one week of his vacation pay—and he was only given two weeks at the start-up he helped form in California at the time. We both hope to return to America soon, but it’s a bittersweet thought as we know none of these policies are in place back home.
It’s a different story for most of the developed world. In fact, out of 168 nations in a Harvard University study, 163 had some form of paid maternity leave, putting America in the leagues of Lesotho, Papua New Guinea, and Swaziland for family-friendly policies. Working parents in Sweden are offered eighteen months paid leave upon the birth of each child—which can be split between the couple. So if dad takes four months paid, mom can take fourteen. And interestingly, most women in Sweden do go back to work. France, Spain, Italy, Germany, Austria—all European countries offer some form of paid maternity leave varying in time frame and the amount of tiered pay given. Our neighbors in Canada are given fourteen months of paid leave. The impact these policies have on families is dramatic.
Imagine this scenario: you have a high-risk pregnancy and will likely give birth prematurely, which may require medical assistance before, during, and after the birth. Where would you rather live—America or Europe? It’s a no brainer, of course you’d rather give birth in your country where your friends and family are. But consider this: the American working woman is only guaranteed twelve weeks unpaid leave via our Family and Medical Leave Act, but that’s only if you work for a large company. (See Maternity Leave On Your Dime.) If you are put on bed rest and start your maternity leave early—what can you do after the birth? The only option for many is to go back to work—leaving a premature infant in the hands of strangers at a day care facility or another care giver, hopefully a family member. If you have no family to help, your premature infant will likely be thrust into a daycare facility, putting the infant at risk for infections.
The First Step Toward Bankruptcy
Many women have shared their stories here at DivineCaroline of having to go back to work and struggling to leave their infants at home. Some have had to move in with parents or in-laws. Others, like my sister, had to take an unpaid leave of absence and also borrow money to make sure her premature infant would not be placed in a child care center. I am more than a little bit angry that my sister, who has her master’s degree in social work and contributes largely to society by helping the mentally ill—is now struggling financially.
