Stop the Lip Service: Give Moms What They Need

So Mother’s Day is around the corner again. Expect to get bombarded with advertisements starting with the phrase, “Show her you care this year …” as close-ups of diamond rings and pendants are shown to entice your partner into spending far too much money.

Mother’s Day has become a farce in America and frankly, I’m tired of it. I’m not just talking about the Hallmark commercialization surrounding Mother’s Day either. I’m talking about how poorly this country treats its mothers. If our leaders actually valued motherhood and “family values,” they’d put their money where their mouth is. New moms must have support to start off motherhood without going bankrupt. I’m talking paid maternity leave. We are the only developed nation in the world not to offer it. Think about it. It’s shameful.

I’ve lived in London now for three years and the opportunity to live abroad has been eye-opening. I have seen first hand how new mothers are able to take six months paid maternity leave in England with the option of taking an additional six months unpaid with their jobs intact. The British economy is not falling down because of these policies.

My husband opens offices for his company throughout Europe and Scandinavia. Last night he called from Stockholm and told me how his Swedish colleague is going to take four months of paid paternity leave. “It’s the standard in Sweden—can you imagine? God, I’d have loved to have been able to do that when William was born,” he says to me with a sarcastic laugh. He only took one week off—and since I was in the hospital for five days—that equated to only two work days at home with me and William. His one week off also counted as one week of his vacation pay—and he was only given two weeks at the start-up he helped form in California at the time. We both hope to return to America soon, but it’s a bittersweet thought as we know none of these policies are in place back home.

It’s a different story for most of the developed world. In fact, out of 168 nations in a Harvard University study, 163 had some form of paid maternity leave, putting America in the leagues of Lesotho, Papua New Guinea, and Swaziland for family-friendly policies. Working parents in Sweden are offered eighteen months paid leave upon the birth of each child—which can be split between the couple.

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05.05.2009
R R
I agree with this article, I remember when I had my daughter 12 years ago. I had a six week maternity leave, I was just getting the hang of breastfeeding and being a new mom, when my maternity leave was up. I had to take my precious only child to a daycare for infants, and while these women took excellent care of her, it was heartbreaking and scary for me to leave her with virtual strangers I had only met a few months prior to her being born. The other thing was I was told by my then manager that they would support me as I chose to breastfeed and would need to pump 1 to 2 times a day. Really? Support by the only choice I had was to roll an office chair into the ladies bathroom to sit my breastpump on the counter and hope I did not startle or get startled by a woman coming in to use the facilities. The women on my team started complaining behind my back that I was gone too long on my "breaks" to pump. Yeah, my milk dried up pretty quickly after going back to work, too much stress
04.23.2009
erika
i just thought that i would add my opinion to the other comments. i think that paid maternity leave is a wonderful thing and should be available to all. Both of my children were born premature and my labor with my second child was worse than the first one. at 7 months i started having regular contractions but due to the fact that i couldnt afford to stop work i chose to continue working as long as possible. i did get time off unpaid but thankfully i was able to get disablility. it was such a hard time financially for us and my husband didnt even get time off because his company didnt allow it. he came with me to the hospital after working all night and then had to go in the next day also. and for the comment that if we cant afford kids then we shouldnt be having them i was on birth control when i found out i was pregnant with both my children. 2 different kinds, so u cant assume that everyone was trying to have a child.
04.03.2009
Khristina
I'm an employee of the federal gov't and we're forced to use accrued vacation & sick leave for maternity leave. A bill was recently passed in a Congress subcommittee called the Federal Employees Paid Parental Leave Act of 2009. If this bill is made into law, it will provide federal employees 4 wks of paid maternity leave (out of the 12 unpaid wks of FMLA - leaving 8 wks unpaid FMLA). For new employees and people who - for whatever reason - don't have enough leave saved (or have complications during pregnancy that don't allow for properly saving leave ahead of time), honestly - for anyone this would be a wonderful advancement for working moms to have the time to stay home with their new babies without feeling guilty. I only hope this bill becomes law before August when my first baby is due. Thanks for a wonderful article!
03.18.2009
Grace Marie
I agree, great points. Thallia, you left a comment saying you think this is selfishness. Clearly you have your priorities straight with money and business. Life is not about money it is about the lives of people on this earth. How do you expect a society to go on if there is no support for parenting children? Raising a child is the number one, most important thing a man and woman will ever do. Period. There is nothing more important than guiding a human life to grow and learn in life. Moms should be supported in this through work so that they can be at home tending to their childs needs without going broke. How is this selfish? Btw, I have no kids either. AND sometimes having a child wasn't an actual decision that a couple sat down and made. Sometimes you just get pregnant.
03.02.2009
Kristi Stevens
Great Article. Hopefully, positive change is coming.
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