Fortunately, single motherhood has come a long way since the 1977 movie The Goodbye Girl, about a divorced mother and her daughter who are forced to move in with an off-off-Broadway actor. And hopefully, we’ve overcome the “scandal” of Murphy Brown.
Still, it can still get complicated for a single mom who wants to have sex again. After all, married moms don’t have to worry about being judged if they’re having sex with their husbands. What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom, right?
BabyCenter recently asked its readers, “Should Single Moms Have a Sex Life?” Some of the comments on that story might shock you.
“When you choose to have a child, you commit to putting yourself second for at least the next eighteen years,” says Carolyn. “You made your choice long ago and you can start putting yourself first again when you’re an empty nester.”
Other readers agreed with her—that single moms should simply devote themselves to their kids and abstain from sex.
“Date, find the right person, and have sex when you’re married,” writes Nils. “Call me old fashioned … but sex is for husbands and wives, not people you meet and date.”
“Do I have a problem with single moms having a sex life?” adds Laree. “Yes I do.”
I couldn’t disagree more with these women.
Happy Mother Equals Happy Child
When my baby was seven months old, her father and I split up. He left the country to start a new life. I was a hormonal, heartbroken, twenty-eight-year-old. But two years later, in between working and mothering, I decided that I deserved to be loved again. Doesn’t everyone?
Of course, you’re the kind of mother who puts your kids’ needs first. You probably have lunches packed before bed. You might wake up thinking about what to cook for dinner. You dole out goodnight kisses without a quota and always find the energy to read just one more story. You pay the bills on time. You make sure that your kids’ homework is done on time—and done well. You have a savings account. You schedule dentist and doctor appointments.
