Are You Hiding Behind Your Children?

In July 2008, the New York Times reported that the declining job market is causing women to leave work, some of them using their children as an excuse. Says one economist: “When we saw women starting to drop out in the early part of this decade, we thought it was the motherhood movement, women staying home to raise their kids. We did not think it was the economy, but when we looked into it, we realized that it was.”

Are women really using their children as an excuse to leave the workforce, or is there still a “motherhood movement” of women choosing to stay home for the betterment of their kids? Is the at-home mother an endangered species? (See New York Times article.)

The Times reports that layoffs, outsourcing, and stagnant pay are causing women to respond like men have “by dropping out or disappearing for a while.”

I didn’t know that taking two cranky toddlers to the supermarket on a Tuesday afternoon was “dropping out” or “disappearing.” Sure didn’t feel like I’d dropped out of anything, except maybe a land where grown-ups get to chat over coffee.

The article mentions that some women aren’t willing to take jobs at lesser pay after a layoff. While the Times cites the reason as a new parity with men when it comes to job loss, I wonder if it isn’t something else entirely.

Carolyn Maloney, Democrat of New York and vice chairman of the Joint Economic Committee, said that women bring home one-third of family income. If a new job would leave you bringing home half of that one-third and it costs more for childcare, some folks think it’s not worth it to work. But there’s no mention of that in the article.

Instead, one economist says we’re hiding behind our kids. She told the newspaper: “A woman gets laid off and she stays home for six months with her kids. She doesn’t admit that she is staying home because she could not get another acceptable job.” Men, she says, don’t do that.

And yet the article mentions one accountant who left her job because of stagnant pay. “For the moment, Ms. Call is home-schooling one of her two sons, falling back on her husband’s $70,000 income as a plumber, and looking for another job.”

Home-schooling is dropping out? No, it’s another job.

The article seems to dismiss the idea that many women have chosen to stay home with their kids—it didn’t choose them. Rather, it paints women as lazy for not having paying jobs.

About one woman, who took the opportunity to go back to school to get a better job, the Times wrote: “Just working, which she has done nearly all of her adult life, is unappealing, she says.”

Funny, I wonder if a man, like this woman, who realized his associate’s degree in interior design wasn’t recession-proof and decided to go back to school while his wife supported him would be considered a dropout. No, he’d be a family man. But have you ever heard of a family woman? Maybe she disappeared.

5 readers liked this story.
From Around the Web:
12.12.2009
Cyn...
I thought this article was fantastic!!! I myself was a full on, working-my-way-up-the-corporate-ladder career woman. I was making close to $85k a year as a single woman and when I met my husband, I was still making more than he was. We got married and I got prenant and decided to ditch my career and live off of his income for the sake of our children. It is without a doubt a full-time never ending job that does not offer financial compensation. It is not a cop-out or hiding. I choose to raise my children rather than have a 22 year-old daycare worker do it. And we will choose to homeschool them as well. They are our obligation and priority. It's important to remember that it IS okay to put our families first. I'm proud that I am fortunate enough to do so.
It feels good to write.

Your stories, musings, and advice are welcome here. We know you've got something to share, so jump in!

Article_sweeps
Most Liked Stories
Loader_buff
Sweeps_offers_article_300_top
Win a $10,000 escape to Jamaica! Enter as often as you wish.
Win a $10,000 escape to Jamaica! Enter as often as you wish.
VIEW ALL