When I was a child, my mother, who worked full-time and raised four children, rarely ever came to my school; my siblings and I took the school bus both ways every day, and no one expected her to do anything more than make sure we arrived dressed, bathed, and with our homework completed.
Today, things are drastically different; mothers seem to be expected to be very involved in their children’s classrooms. As one working mom from Greenville, South Carolina, reflects, “Scarcely a week goes by that we don’t have to send a check for something and/or provide something out of the norm (a dish, a present, a special piece of equipment, etc.) that requires time to bake and/or go to a store. It’s tiresome, and there’s never extra notice (e.g., ‘Here are the special things we’re doing this month. Please send $x to cover x, y, and z, and please remember to send x on x date, y on y date, and z on z date’).”
My own son’s elementary school offers daily and weekly volunteer positions, and during most school hours, a mother (or the occasional father) is in the classroom as a teacher’s helper. Although I work from home, I can manage only one day/one hour per week, as a writing specialist, and I feel a twinge of guilt because I inevitably have to say no to helping out with art projects, science projects, luncheon and party planning, and field-trip needs. Most working moms would love to participate more, but clearly, it’s hard to swing. Perhaps more working moms need to reach out to their children’s teachers to let them know they work long, demanding hours and have busy travel schedules. In addition, given that reality, many husbands/partners may need to start stepping up and getting more involved. If your spouse works closer to your child’s school or works more flexible hours, have him volunteer in your place—it should be an equal-opportunity parental option.
With that said, I know there are still many moms out there who just want to be able to spend some time with their children at school. And while it might not be possible to volunteer every week, working mothers can participate, with a creative strategizing. For example, Margaret Keene, group creative director for TBWA\Chiat\Day in Los Angeles, has a rigorous advertising job. She works long hours, including on some weekends, and travels for business. As the mom of two—Caroline, seven, and Kevin, five—she tries to make the most of any trip to school.
