I don't think I'm unique in the fact that I feel like I'm being pulled in a million directions. It is the dilemma of the modern woman to aspire to be and do everything, and to feel pressure to do it all at once. Now, I am a mother, part time worker and a student, who is trying to complete in my very little spare time, a degree that won't further my career. This is not exactly what I planned for my life when I started college. I mean, does this sound like a super mom with a shining career? Well, no.
Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had stayed in graphic design school and become a head hancho designer in New York like my Uncle Brian Carlock. Last night, I dreamt that I had. I was at a design convention, possibly TDCTJHTBIPC, The Design Conference That Just Happened To Be In Park City, (yeah, I actually didn't make that up!). I was in a room full of people. I had no real friends there to have a satisfying conversation with. I felt all alone. The only people who paid me any special attention were dirty old men that I tried to avoid.
But to be perfectly honest, I have never been happier in my life than I am right now. I didn't need that dream to point it out to me. Being able to spend alot of time with my son is very satisfying, as is knowing that Jason and I are raising him, and not others. Supporting my hubby through school is very satisfying as well (Someday I will have a PHT degree, Put Hubby Through!). And truthfully, my boss is very happy with my work, and that makes it all the better. As for the degree, well, someday I'll have bragging rights. That might be fun. Perhaps I'll go back someday and become a teacher, but not now.
Don't feel like you have to do all and be all to be happy. Take it from a girl who has been pulled in all directions and found happiness and balance in spite of it all. I am an educated young woman who takes care of a household, a job, and who is still pursuing a degree. I love every aspect of my life.
Good luck to all those of my fellow women who have to do it all and do it well. I wouldn't want to be you, but you are amazing.
