Do you want to eat like a “normal” person: to sit down to a satisfying, filling meal that offers pleasure and nourishment? Do you long to exit the diet/binge roller coaster? Do you want to have a healthy relationship with food?
Navigating the literature on nutrition can make the most easygoing woman neurotic. Everyone has their pet theory on how to eat: low carb, low fat, vegan, macrobiotic, raw, whole foods, no laws (eat whatever you want.) It’s bad enough that there are 20 different approaches to diet and nutrition; worse when the experts start contradicting one another.
At some point, you have to lighten up. As a wellness consultant told me, “It’s only food.” We’re not talking about nuclear war here. Yet the foods we eat have a direct bearing on how we feel: our energy, mood, appearance, and body image are all influence by our dietary choices.
I’ve tried many different ways of eating: vegan, vegetarian, low carb, high protein, low sugar, whole foods, and the junk food/eat whatever I want diet. I’ve been bulimic, an undereater, an overeater, and a chronic dieter. From my experiences, I’ve come up with an eating plan that works for me. It’s simple, easy to follow, yet life changing in its application. Here are my five rules for normal eating:
- I eat when I’m hungry; I stop when I’m full. Being hungry or irritable from low blood sugar feels terrible. Too much food makes me feel bloated, stuffed, and sick. So I eat enough food to give me energy, health, and enjoyment. And the next time I feel hungry I eat again.
- I eat three meals a day, everyday, including breakfast. When I was overeating, a huge part of my bingeing stemmed from undereating: I would eat as little as possible during the day (because I was on a perpetual quest to lose ten pounds) only to be starving by dinnertime. Then I would overeat, not because I had poor willpower, but because I was hungry. Eating food at regular intervals makes me feel grounded, stable, and satisfied.
- I eat foods that make me feel good. I like a steak every now and then. A pizza is a favorite treat. I love colorful salads. Risotto is my idea of heaven. These things make me feel good, so I eat them. Sugar makes me depressed and wacks me out. Fried eggs give me the willies. Too many fake foods—think lots of processing and packaging—make me feel icky. So I usually abstain.
- I eat what I really want. What I want to eat today may be different tomorrow. What I want in the winter may be different than what I crave in the summer. How nice that I can choose; that I don’t have to eat the same four things from a “good foods” list over and over again. Right now I’m in a raw fruit and vegetable phase, stemming from the heat wave we’re currently experiencing. But as the weather cools I crave warm, cooked vegetables and hearty soups. A few weeks ago, when my baby was going through a growth spurt (I’m a nursing mother), I had a hankering for nuts and nut butter. I followed my craving, got a spoon, and dove into the almond butter, without any guilt, shame, remorse or thoughts of calories.
- I enjoy my food. I love food. I always have. And I’ve come to glory in that, rather than feel ashamed by it. Who started the lie, anyway, that women shouldn’t have an appetite? I’ve always had a hearty appetite, especially when I’m exercising regularly and nursing, as I am now. I have no qualms about getting a second helping, rather than undereating to be socially acceptable.
That’s it. This is how I eat (most of the time, anyway; I still occasionally overeat or eat something gross because I’m too lazy to cook.) The best part about my rules is their flexibility: the foods or quantities of foods that make me feel good now may not work for me at a different time. The foods I prefer may not be ones you like, either. The rules still apply.
In some ways, following a rigid eating plan would be easier. Freedom is frightening (Will I get fat if I eat carbs? If I can eat whatever I want, will I eat ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner?) But giving myself choices is what ultimately removed wacky food obsession from my life. Many experts on food addiction, overeating, and eating disorders share my belief that learning how to eat intuitively is what ultimately cures negative beliefs about food. (Click here for a book list.)
But eating normally is more than freeing yourself from food: it’s adding trust, an inner knowing that you’ll care for your body excellently in your food choices. It’s trusting that if you give yourself permission to have dessert, you’ll still eat vegetables.
Food obsession is overwhelming, because you face it several times a day, every day; every time you eat, want to eat, or think about eating. Remove this obstacle from your life, and I guarantee you’ll feel your spirit soar. You’ll be free and clear to redirect the energy you devoted to food towards the deeper dreams, goals, and aspirations that abide within.